Graduation!

I am officially a graduate.

Approval Sheet

Praise the Lord!

I've finally completed all the signatures!!

I'm gonna graduate !!

Thesis and Work and the International conference.

Finally, I KNOW that I will officially graduate this October 2016. I got the signatures from my panel already. Minor revisions but it is already approved!!

I can also now focus more on building a bigger team for my work. I really love being a leader. I really enjoy balancing the chemistry, the culture, the personalities, the strengths and weaknesses. That's what's really I love best in being a leader. And it is true that being a leader will be so easy if you have the right people on your team! 

And then of course I can now focus more on the International Conference that my professional organization has been preparing for more than a year now. This is another accomplishment for me because all (but one) of the major partners of the conference is because of my networking skills. I am also going to take this opportunity to present my paper! Well, at least only a part of it because my thesis is actually compose of three studies. I can present the quantitative phase in this conference =)

My team on Online and Computerized Assessments will also be presenting. I will also be presenting, I think I should be preparing for my presentation soon. haha.

Oh goodie such a great year this year yes it was. Thank you Lord!

Secrets to a Great Team from Elodie Ascenci

Let's do this!

Here's a screen shot of the Table of Contents of my thesis.

I'm finishing Chapter's 1 & 2.

I still have to add something on the RRL of one of my variables, specifically Parent's Educational Socialization (a nuisance variable, I'm telling you.)

But I'm guessing by tomorrow I'm done with these chapters.

So by tomorrow, I can also move on to working on mu chapter 3, results.

Yep, I'm doing it all over again. Chapter by chapter...

Let's do this, Toni!!

Graduate School #ThesisTuesdays

I always love Tuesdays because I get to hang out with my graduate school classmates.

Our discussions are always fruitful and mentally stimulating. <3

Thesis Sent

Phew.

Finally.

I've e-mailed my revisions to my mentor.

The waiting game begins. I hope my mentor already approves of my changes so I can just collect the signature I need from the panel and wait for the application to graduate and then graduate.

NO MORE REVISIONS PLEASE.

In the mean time, I need to gather my thoughts what to do while waiting for my thesis to be reviewed

1) Watch Arrow Season 4
2) Create Abstract for my Thesis (Quantitative Only) - and submit for PEMEA's conference
3) Start Researching about Online and Computerized Assessment and create the standards

Today is June 2.

What upcoming events should I be preparing for?

hmmmm...

Just PEMEA actually... and then work stuff... I have those in One Note to remind me.

kk time to watch Oliver Queen!!

Back to the grind

So okay, I passed the Final Thesis Defense. But of course that doesn't mean I can already bum around and just wait for graduation. There are still lots of work that needs to be done. Revisions.. revisions...revisions .. (I swear this is gonna be the last thesis I will have in my life: non-thesis programs from now on!).

~ Introduction/Conceptual Framework/Methods ~

1) Provide a backdrop of student dropout rate among DLSU scholars as a background of the study. Dropout Data in PH (http://www.unicef.org/philippines/brief04_fnl.pdf) status: DONE! 

2) State the researcher's proposition why these variables were chosen specifically for this study - relate back to the Bean Model and Bempechat (1999) and relate to this persistence. status: DONE!

3) Explain how in previous studies the variable of parent's educational socialization has been identified status: DONE!

4) Clarify how the items were 'adapted' and used for item development - specify if items are added/deleted - discuss specifically how items were revised.  status: DONE! (need to add the original scales in appendix)

5) Present Rasch analysis on a per scale basis (all items pertain only to one variable) - results may be appended.  status: DONE! (review APA format for tables)

6) Report reliability values for each of the scales used - APA.  status:  DONE!

7) Report participants' profile (demographics - gender/age/year level).  status: DONE!

~ Phase 1: Quantitative Phase ~

1) Present descriptive results - means, SDs. status: DONE! 

2) Rationalize why there is an attempt to explain why there is a strongest vs weakest predictors - does not demand to run a separate regression for a single variable (i.e. parent's educational socialization in Table 4) when you could have done a hierarchical regression status: DONE!

3) Present correlations among variables to reflect relationships. status: DONE! 

4) There is no explanation of your r2 value in the regression model and to link this back to your theoretical model. status: DONE! 

~ Phase 2: Qualitative Phase ~

1) Review the themes/subthemes particularly (e.g. exemplars do not really reflect "goal orientation")' avoid using terminologies and may simply be descriptive. status: DONE!


 2) Expand the discussion for the qualitative results. status: DONE! 

3) Discuss why you opted to pursue that parents' educational socialization still in the quali when this was not a significant predictor - reevaluated results as to why there is no apparent significant relationship. status: DONE! 

 4) Label figures presented. status: DONE! 

~ Integration ~

1) Discuss the integrative framework more clearly - elaborate on what is meant by mediator variables - present the framework highlighting direct vs. distant relationships to student persistence

2) State more direct conclusions for the study  status: DONE! 

3) Discuss the implication of the study in terms of understanding the role/influences of student persistence in learning and the school environment status: DONE! 

Picture says a thousand words

And summarizes 7 years in graduate school.

Final... Thesis... Defense... Mental Exercise

I have no idea why I didn't think of this before, but I just googled the common questions that panelists ask during thesis defense. Tomorrow is my final thesis defense and I haven't fully prepared myself because I don't even know what I'm preparing for. I know my thesis by heart but I guess it's practicing how to answer questions I need to prepare myself for. Good thing I have confidence and passion with my research, that's pretty much a huge advantage on acing this oral examination. 

I have gathered a lot of questions from various sites. Most of them have more or less the same question but just worded differently. I will try to answer it nevertheless so my brain gets some exercise and mental preparations already.

*phew* here I go. 

(These sounds like beauty pageant questions!!)

Thesis Title:

To Stay or Not to Stay: Factors Affecting Student Persistence of Students Benefiting from Need-Based Financial Aid

Based on your findings, what will your next research project be? How would you build on this research?

> I can work on developing an instrument that will help predict the severity of a scholar's tendency to drop out from school. The instrument will measure the extent of family support, social integration and certainty of choice. Parents educational socialization will be covered by family support. It can build upon the initial instrument that was already developed in the study and integrated with the findings from the qualitative phase. 

Where do you see this kind of research moving in the future? What are the openings?

> This kind of research will help the university in addressing the problems of students benefiting student financial aid. When students drop out from the institution, it is both a waste of time and resources for both the institution and the student because time and resource was already invested the moment they first enrolled in the program.

How could you improve your work? How can your research be used in practice?

> I can improve my work by including in my scope of participants those students who actually dropped out from the institution and identify the weaknesses in their situations that made them drop out in their programs. My research can be used by the administrators to help take care of their scholars. As previous literature already stated, most enrollment managers are focused only on admitting students but not much concern on making them stay until program completion

What would you change if you were to do the study again? If you did it again what would you do differently?

> I would include in my qualitative interview, interviews of students who proceeded with dropping out of the institution. This can help validate what other students perceive as cause of their persistence.

What would you do differently if you were setting out to do it today? In hindsight, is there any aspect of the research that you would do differently?

> same as above. 

Looking back, what might you have done differently? What are the main weaknesses with what you did and why are they there?

> One of my main weaknesses is that I only included in my study those who are currently enrolled and already persisted in attaining a degree. I believe that the voice of those who actually left the institution without finishing the degree still warrants a position in this kind of study. 

What are the strongest/weakest parts of your work? What is the main contribution of your thesis?

> One of my strongest part is that my instrument went through a development stage and that I was able to interview students who were successful in persisting. My weak part I wasn't able to include those students who did not persist. 

> my main contribution is finding out what highly influences the student persistence of students benefiting from financial aid

What have been the significant contributions of your research? In what ways does this research make a significant contribution to your particular field of study?

> same as above

What have you done that merits an MA degree? Summarize your key findings.

> I have contributed to the knowledge in helping enrollment managers, parents, teachers and other people concerned, to identify factors that add to the persistence of student benefiting from financial aid. This information is highly valuable and important because students benefiting from financial aid also serve as investments for institutions because they are shouldering the education of these students thus these students should finish their degree in order not to waste the money spent on them.

What's original about your work? Where is the novelty?

> I was able to focus on low SES students benefiting from financial aid and dig deeper on possible causes why there are some students who don't persist despite the financial aid 

What are the contributions (to knowledge) of your thesis? What is the implication of your work in your area? What does it change?

> Implication of my thesis in my field is that student persistence from low socioeconomic status is not a guarantee just because you help these students with financial assistance. The life of a student coming from this socioeconomic background goes beyond financial challenges 

Why did you decide to undertake this specific project? What are the motivations for your research?

> I decided to take on this research because of my role as a financial aid coordinator of the university. I have interviewed numerous students almost everyday and they always have problems that goes beyond the classroom. Some of them would inform me that they fear that they may lose their scholarship, or they are unhappy with their course and even to the extent that they are already transferring schools despite the financial aid in the university. The concerns of the students had motivated me to help them and the university, avoid such instances. How can we prevent or lessen drop out rates of students coming from low SES? I believe that having a degree is one way of helping the life of these students and their family, so we need to support them achieve a degree. 

Why is the problem you have tackled worth tackling? What are the main aims, questions, hypotheses?

> The main objective of my thesis is to find out what influences the persistence of students benefiting from student financial aid because this type of information will help us predict those who are risk of drop out behavior and prevent it from happening. My hypothesis is that family support, certainty of choice of program, social integration and parent's educational socialization influence student persistence. 

Where did your research-project come from? How did your research-questions emerge?

> based from my interviews with the students benefiting from student financial aid and literature review that would be most relevant to the current setting I ended up with family support, parents educational socialization, certainty of choice of program & social integration as factors I wanted to investigate if they significantly affect student persistence or these students 

> the culture of familialism, shared social goals, collectivistic orientation and value of having clear goals, influenced my chosen variables

Why are your research questions interesting or important? Comment on and justify your research methodology. Why have you done it this way? What are the alternatives to your approach?

> My research questions are important because it is important to know how we can predict and prevent dropout rates in an institution. Most especially to those who are benefiting from student financial aid as this is a form of an investment to the institution and you need to take care of your investments. In an economical perspective on another hand, helping more students from low SES to attain a college degree will help boost the number of qualified professionals that will help boost the economy in the long run. And lastly, for the student and the family of the student themselves, a college degree is one huge leap for them in attaining freedom from poverty. 

> an alternative approach to my research is developing a ground theory by reversing the method and doing a qualitative phase first before the quantitative phase. In that type of method, the qualitative phase can explore more factors that can hinder or contribute to persistence and then validate the findings through an exploratory factor analysis during the quantitative phase. I did a sequential explanatory method in my study because I wanted to build on the model that bean already proposed as a synthetic model of student attrition. 

What are the principal findings of this research project? How do they compare the findings of other projects within the field?

> my principal findings is that family support, parents educational socialization, certainty of choice of program and social integration influence student persistence. Most research and theoretical models on student attrition focus on the institution's goals of helping students have that institutional fit and that is reflected on the social integration variable. But what's special in this study is that the family orientation of our Filipino culture stood out because it turns out that even if these students are already in college and considered as an adult, family support still has the most influence in student persistence. 

Who are your closest competitors? How has your thinking changed as a result of this research project?

> I would have imagined that social integration and certainty of choice of program would have strongest influence for these college students because being a college student is going through stages of independence. But all the more it proves that as a Filipino, our sense of family and the approval or support of our family is really significant in attaining our life goals. 

What have you learned from the process of doing your MA? Has your view of your research topic changed during the course of the research?

> I learned that a master's degree goes beyond just attending classes and finishing your course units. Attaining a master's degree in itself is a journey that entails each and every graduate student having their own story to tell. A student in graduate school in itself involves student persistence. And during the course of my research it has helped me identify my own student persistence. Why do I want to finish my studies? Who influences my persistence? What hinders my desire to finish this program? Need do I say, that of course my hypothesis applies to my own personal experience. The support of my family, parents, institution and my purpose of choosing this program has both positively and negatively affected my student persistence during the course of my MA journey.

In one sentence, what is your thesis? What are you most proud of, and why?

Family, friends, institutional support & the student's purpose of pursuing that chosen program influence student persistence. What am I most proud of? I am proud that my hypothesis is right. That these factors indeed significantly affect student persistence and the next step is converting this finding into practice and be able to salvage and help those students at risk of dropout. Grades aren't an explicit evidence of knowing who is at risk, but it is actually what goes inside the mind and heart of the student that makes them at risk of dropout behavior 

Where do current technologies fail such that you (could) make a contribution? Where did you go wrong?

> I think the part I went wrong in doing my thesis was I was reading dissertations and I end up taking tips and copying their methodology which in return was a huge waste of my time because I didn't realize that most of what I have been doing was unnecessary. Such as when I was trying to analyze per participant like a case study approach but in the end I only need a thematic analysis to analyze my qualitative data.

How have you evaluated your work? How do your contributions generalize?

> I am very proud of my work because if you take a look at it, I actually did three research studies in one thesis. First one was the instrument development, second one was the quantitative phase and third one was qualitative phase. Because I established my own instrument, I can very much well be confident that my findings can be generalized closely to the population in question. My participants are students in the university, they are benefiting from need-based financial aid and the instrument was tested in the cultural context.

What previous research has been done on the topic of your study? What does your thesis deal with "What kind of theory is it based on?"

Bean, Tinto and Pascarella to name a few who did a significant amount of research on student attrition or persistence. When student persistence is low, attrition is high, and that's the relationship of the two. These studies are based on either Bean's or Tinto's theory of student attrition. My thesis used bean's model of student attrition because it is a comprehensive synthesis of various models of attrition and persistence. 

Question 1: In few sentences, can you tell us what your study is all about?

My study is about exploring the factors that affect the student persistence of students benefiting from student financial aid. More specifically, validating the significance of family support, parents educational socialization, social integration and certainty of choice of program in its influence to the student persistence of students who are coming from low income families. 

In non-technical language, are family, friends, institutional support and chosen degree program important in the desire of a student to finish a degree?

Question 2: What is your motivation for this study?

I want to help scholars who are at risk of dropping out, prevent from dropping out. But how does the administration identifies these students? This is what my study aimed to pursue. 

Question 3: How will this study contribute to the body of knowledge?

My study will contribute on information how we can prevent student dropout behavior from students coming from low socioeconomic status even if we already removed the hindrance of matriculation expenses. 

Question 4: What is the significance of the study?

Information on how to predict and prevent student attrition will help students from low socioeconomic status complete a college degree. In a business perspective, this can help the institution gain success in their investment since these students are benefiting from financial aid, it goes with saying that the institution has invested money to these students to pursue completing a degree and add to the number of students to graduate in their institution,. In an economical perspective, this can help boost the economy's number of qualified professionals and alleviate families from poverty. 

Question 5: Did you bridge any gap from your study?

Studies have shown that financial aid contribute to student persistence of students in low socioeconomic background but studies did not explore on why students still dropout despite the financial aid. 

Question 6: What limitations did you encounter?

I was not able to cover students who proceeded in dropping out from the institution.

Question 7: What are your findings?

Family support, social integration, parent's educational socialization and certainty of choice of program influence student persistence.

Question 8: What Methods or Sampling Technique did you employ?

I used Sequential Explanatory Method where I did a quantitative phase first to test the significance of my variables and the qualitative phase would validate the results of the quantitative phase.

Question 9: Why choose this method?

There is already a comprehensive model on student attrition as done by Bean, I wanted to apply the model in the setting of my research instead of creating a new grounded theory. Through the quantitative phase I tested the significance of my chosen variables and the qualitative phase help interpret why those variables were significant. 

Question 10: Based on your findings what are your recommendations?

I would recommend future studies to develop an instrument that can help predict students risk of dropping out. This is one direct application of my current findings. 

Question 11: Based on your findings what areas will you suggest for future research?

Future research can explore the different ways of how parents socialize with their children when it comes to education related concerns and goals. 

Question 12: How can your research study be put into practice?

As mentioned in my recommendation, one can develop an instrument to identify students at risk of dropping out. But in a much more lower scale of number of students, faculty members or people of position can explore the situation of the student by interviewing the student in aspects with regards to family support, social integration, parent's socialization and extent of how the student's program is related to their goals. 

Question 13: How would you summarize your study to a practitioner in a few sentence?

Family support, friends, institutional fit and certainty of choice of program influences the desire of a students coming from low SES and benefiting from financial aid to finish their degree program. 

Question 14: What would you change if you were to conduct the study again?

I would like to add more participants in the qualitative study and also include those who left the institution.

Question 15: What is your measurement Instrument?

I developed an instrument by creating item statements based from previous instruments used by other researchers and also from literature. I asked experts to review the statements and conducted a pilot test of the instrument to identify the validity or the instrument and reject poor items.

Question 16: What are your research variables?

My research variables are Family Support, Parent's Educational Socialization, Social Integration and Certainty of Choice of Program.

Question 17: What are your research questions?

My research question is "Does Family Support, Parent's Educational Socialization, Social Integration and Certainty of Choice of Program have influence on student persistence of student benefiting from financial aid?

Question 18: What do you plan to do with your research project after Graduation?

I would like to share it to the Office of Admissions and Scholarships so that they have an idea how to help their scholars in their struggles to attain a college degree. 

Question 19: What source of data was employed for the study?

I used second hand resources via literature review and also direct data collected directly from students benefiting from financial aid.

Question 20: What theories or theoretical framework is your study based on?

My study is based on Bean's Model of student attrition where environmental variables, attitude/outcome variables, background variables, organizational variables have direct and indirect influence on dropout behavior.

Question 21: How would you relate your findings to existing theories on the study?

Family support and Parents educational socialization are environmental variables that influence student persistence. Certainty of Choice of Program is an attitude/outcome variable that influence student persistence. Social integration is an organizational variable that influence student persistence.

Question 22: What recommendations do you have for future research?

Same as Question #10

Question 23: What is the scope of the study?

Exploring the factors that influence student persistence of students benefiting from need-based financial aid

Question 24: What question(s) do you have for the committee?

Question 25: Do you have any closing comments?

Thank you for the intellectual discussion and taking time to help me improve my research work.

"What is your thesis about, what are the major contributions and what have you done that merits a Master's degree?".

1.    Can you start by summarising your thesis?

2.    Now, can you summarise it in one sentence?

3.    What is the idea that binds your thesis together?

4.    What motivated and inspired you to carry out this research?

5.    What are the main issues and debates in this subject area?

6.    Which of these does your research address?

7.    Why is the problem you have tackled worth tackling?

8.    Who has had the strongest influence in the development of your subject area in theory and practice?

9.    Which are the three most important papers that relate to your thesis?

10.    What published work is closest to yours? How is your work different?

11.    What do you know about the history of [insert something relevant]?

12.    How does your work relate to [insert something relevant]?

13.    What are the most recent major developments in your area?

14.    How did your research questions emerge?

15.    What were the crucial research decisions you made?

16.    Why did you use this research methodology? What did you gain from it?

17.    What were the alternatives to this methodology?

18.    What would you have gained by using another approach?

19.    How did you deal with the ethical implications of your work?

20.    How has your view of your research topic changed?

21.    How have you evaluated your work?

22.    How do you know that your findings are correct?

23.    What are the strongest/weakest parts of your work?

24.    What would have improved your work?

25.    To what extent do your contributions generalise?

26.    Who will be most interested in your work?

27.    What is the relevance of your work to other researchers?

28.    What is the relevance of your work to practitioners?

29.    Which aspects of your work do you intend to publish – and where?

30.    Summarise your key findings.

31.    Which of these findings are the most interesting to you? Why?

32.    How do your findings relate to literature in your field?

33.    What are the contributions to knowledge of your thesis?

34.    How long-term are these contributions?

35.    What are the main achievements of your research?

36.    What have you learned from the process of doing your Master's

degree?

37.    What advice would you give to a research student entering this area?

38.    You propose future research. How would you start this?

39.    What would be the difficulties?

40.    And, finally… What have you done that merits a Master's Degree?

(Self-made questions)

How does your thesis relate to gaining a Master's degree in Learning and Teaching.

Once you chose a profession in the education industry, once you chose a teaching profession, your role as an educator goes beyond teaching and learning knowledge and facts. Being learner-centered you also need to understand where your students are coming from because if a student enters your classroom with all these burdens of lack of support and financial problems, none of the things you teach inside the classroom we'll ever get into the minds of the student. CHAR! Ms universe! 

Justify your thesis according to the learner centered principles.

Learner Centered Principle No.7 What and how much is learned is influenced by the learner's motivation. Motivation to learn, in turn, is influenced by the individual's emotional states, beliefs, interests and goals, and habits of thinking.

Students' belief about themselves as learners and the nature of learning have a marked influence on motivation. Positive emotions generally enhance motivation and facilitate learning and performance. Mid anxiety can also enhance learning and performance by focusing the learner's attention on a particular task.

Learner Centered Principle No. 11 Learning is influenced by social interactions, interpersonal relations, and communication with others.

Setting that allow for social interactions, and that respect diversity, encourage flexible thinking, and social competence can enhance learning.

Learner Centered Principle No. 13 Learning is most effective when differences in learners' linguistic, cultural, and social backgrounds are taken into account.

Language, ethnicity, race, beliefs, and socioeconomic status all influence learning.

Sources for practice questions:

http://nairaproject.com/m/blog/009.html

https://quizlet.com/78192205/possible-thesis-defense-questions-flash-cards/

http://newt.phys.unsw.edu.au/~jw/viva.html

http://www.msvu.ca/site/media/msvu/DefensePreparation.pdf

References:

http://www.cscsr.org/docs/MinorityStudentRetentionResourcesforPractitioners2006.pdf

Just keep writing.. just keep writing..

I'm almost done with my first draft and I know that it's really hella crappy.

But it's okay. First drafts are always the crappiest right?

I just keep on typing typing typing words in my head and putting it on record.

I will deal with the grammar and stylistics after. At the least the thoughts are there already right?

I feel exactly like Dory.

Telling myself to just keep doing it and at the same time getting distracted every 5 seconds.

Uhm

So I went to my university today to accompany my friend process his scholarship.

This was my previous job so we went to my previous office. 

The person who replaced me, just recently resigned.

And for some reason, my former boss had this crazy idea of taking me back. 

Eh... 

What just happened? 

I was willing to help them of course. Haha

But for now, I'm not hired as an employee. I'm hired as a student assistant. 

Besides, I already do have a current job. Just so happens I can actually do both. 

And at the same time, I need some bit of excitement in my life. This full-time thesising is making me dull and my productivity has dropped down. 

As a type a extrovert , I think I need a variety of things to do and interaction.

So tomorrow will truly be an exciting day. 

Burnt Out

And nope. Not with work. I'm enjoying my job because it provides me to do the things I am good at. 

But last night I sent a text to my friend losing purpose in life and I just didn't know why I was doing things anymore. It started with a bad interview and then traffic and then my thoughts kept piling up until I started asking myself "why am I doing this?". I completely lost it. I got depressed.

My friend suggested that I was probably burnt out. 

I asked myself, burnt out? I know I was burnt out last year because I had a stressful desk job juggling a desk job and entertaining hundreds of people among other things. 

But today, I came home from a full day at my school and realized.. I am burnt out indeed. But not with work, with thesis.

I have been working with my thesis since January 2 and I have been sleeping at our couch since then most of the days. 

I sleep in our couch because it's one way of wiring myself to do thesis the moment I wake up into consciousness. Some days I sleep in my room and I just end up waking up, being lazy and faling asleep again only to realize I've been sleeping the why morning.

Sleeping in the couch makes me feel uncomfortable that the moment I wake up the first thing I end up doing is typing away. I take naps sure but then when I wake up I'm upright again. I feel like a robot. And it's like there's just no time to waste even sleep is a waste of time. 

So yeah.. I'm typing this blog while I'm lying down on our couch and I realized I AM exhausted from thesis. 

It's only the first half of January (what?? First half already) and I've been working on my thesis each day. 

The whole panic part started when I discovered that the deadline of enrollment for thesis defense was February 23, 2016 and right now I am no longer sure if I can reach that deadline but I am trying to rush through it. 

Which is as a result, I am where I am right now.

In my couch. Exhausted. Burnt out. 

I posted a tweed about me getting annoyed seeing college students in my campus because it reminds me that I am no longer one of them. And then realizing my friends are getting married, having kids, migrating while I am still stuck in the same campus that we were used to go to 10 years ago. I've been going to the same campus for 10 years already!!!!

a professor replied giving me words of comfort that I am in my university to improve myself but I replied disheartened saying I feel saturated and that if my school was food I am suffering from indigestion. The comfort zone is no longer comfortable and familiarity breeds contempt. Basically I feel like vomitting with the sight of my alma mater. 

He pointed out that it is just probably due to stress.

So there two people that made sense to what I am feeling right now.

Burnt out and stress.

And I totally agree. I've been pushing myself really hard everyday. It's like I'm squeezing the 2 months I've procrastinated last November and December, into just 2 weeks right now. 

In doing thesis you just can't seem to "spread it equally" it's either you're completely into doing it and completely doing everything to avoid it.

I'm depressed, burnt out & stressed.

I am still going to continue pushing this without delay and still try to meet the deadline but i think I will also start thinking about not being able to finish it and just defend in April. But that will be too far already... I think I feel so close to finishing it already and I can actually realistically beat the deadline. Minus the delays that will be caused by trying to complete the signatures and approval of the department...

I will just continue pushing it. For now, I will rest a few hours and go back to working with my thesis tonight.

All is well that ends well. 

Thesis Update

Not yet there but slowly progressing.

I'm so tempted to watch a movie but NO.

MUST.NOT.RESIST.

Analyzing some data right now and then tomorrow, I will do 2 yoga classes in the morning, submit my draft to my mentor, then proceed to starting to write the results (Monday) of analyzed data, then meet with my graduate school friend. On Tuesday I will start  writing the discussion portion based on the results.

I'm trying to gauge write now if my deadline and goal each day is being realistic.

Sunday: Analysis of Data
Monday: Results of Data
Tuesday: Discussion of Data

Of course these are just drafts but its a huge leap to help me finish my thesis in two weeks. Starting to write is always the huge obstacle so I would rather have bits and pieces in writing already and just edit edit edit... and edit some more.. I need to have my full thesis written by January 22 (Friday). And submit it immediately the monday after that and then wait for my mentor to review it and have it approved. I hope there are minor revisions, oh gosh please... So that my mentor will already approve for final defense. It does take a while to process these things due to a slow system caused by human delay. So as a result I'm squeezing myself to finish a month early than the deadline of enrollment.

Universe PLEASE COOPERATE IM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN OKAY ...

Qualitative Phase: Creating Interview Questions

It's my first time to create interview questions. I just realized that.

I've had qualitative phases before but it is mostly open ended questions and in my other experiences the interviews are always unstructured. 

Now that I created a semi-structured interview, I have a feeling I will be able to conduct these interviews easier than I imagined. 

I've been avoiding the qualitative phase because I did imagine it to be difficult. How to analyze. What questions to ask. But then having a well thought and well designed guide DOES help.

Now I just have to tick tick tick the answers and if there are examples then I just have to type it verbatim.

My new calendars so far:

Conduct all the interviews before January ends.

February: write results and discussion

March: Revisions/Submission

Do I defend in April? 

It would actually be nice if I can already defend by April. Let's put our target in April.

By then I will get my diploma when I start applying in my new schools.

Yes, new school.

I have some plans in mind and I'm actually excited. I just love learning. 

People say I should just take PHD but I also admit and tell them I'm not emotionally ready  yet! Plus, I don't think I want to be doing research research all my life. I would rather take another masters degree. I want to be a master of another field. Crossing my fingers for now that I graduate soon and that my applications in my school school get approved.

Yippie!

A second M.A. degree?

The holiday break is over and I'm mentally preparing myself to get back to the student mode. I've avoided my thesis for almost two months now and I cannot keep this up. I haven't opened my thesis yet and its already 8:27 PM as of this writing. But there was an idea that popped in my head that would give me the motivation to finish my masters A.S.A.P. I've always wanted to study abroad. I can still recall the time I graduated elementary and my father planted an idea of me taking highschool in Los Angeles, where my grandparents used to live. But words remained as words and instead of moving abroad, I moved from an exclusive school to a co-ed school and had my high school years there. It wasn't abroad, but I appreciated the change and new environment nevertheless. I have met the most awesome people that turned into my brothers and sisters. When I graduated a bachelors degree, I've always imagined myself taking graduate school abroad, but for some reason, the reality of it happening was just far from reality because of the lack of foundation and support. I couldn't even get enough support from taking my masters alone, what more abroad. And this support is not just financially, but the idea of going back to school again was something my father found unnecessary. As the new year began, it occurred to me that I will be turning 30 years old next year. The idea of studying abroad will be more difficult to achieve if I end up having a family already. So, I think there is no time to waste anymore and I have to make my dreams a reality. Am I ready for a Ph.D program? I figured, I might not be emotionally ready for that yet. It will require lots and lots and lots of reading and research and I'm already having a hard time with my current thesis. I would like to go back to school and take classes again, but psychologically, somehow, a Ph.D. program sounds too intimidating and will include so much pressure. I want to go back to school for the sheer learning of it and not for the credentials and stress. When I meet somebody who took more than one masters degree, the first thing that I would tell them why did you take another MA and not just go straight to PHD? For me it felt like it was a waste of time. But now, I am starting to understand. To dive into a PhD program needs not just time and focus and intellectual capabilities, it also involves emotional readiness. Plus, do I really need a PhD? Why do I want a PhD in the first place? The only reason I have for now is for people to call me a doctor. Heh.. not enough reason to give myself a hard time eh? Well, anyway, another Masters Program therefore makes much more sense. Plus, I can choose a different specialization or master more my craft. I am thinking of taking a masteral program that would focus on Educational Technology. My current masters degree is on learning and teaching which covers the broad field of learning and teaching. My passion has always been on educational technology and I think it would be worth it for me to get back to school (or be a student again, after being a student) ... Heh.. a degree after a degree... it might sound insane for people.. but we all have our own interests.. What lingered in my mind as well is that if I take a Masters in Educational Technology abroad then my current Masters would seem useless because the program abroad would definitely be better. But then again, the experiences would be different and I think that's what matters most in graduate school. There is a story for every graduate school degree. Its not just merely attending classes and passing them. There's something about going back to school as an adult that makes the learning experience different. So anyway, right now I've been researching on possible school I would apply to by 2017... I need to make this happen.. I will have to take IELTS or TOEFL this year as well. Gah.. learning just never stops. I have no complaints.

Busy February

It's a busy February.

With Interviews for incoming freshmen.

I don't know what happened to my February.

Tired? 

Lost the momentum for my thesis. 

Have to catch up.

Darn it.

Then there's my I/O Class. The requirements are so demanding because there's only two of us in class. Only two of us dividing the burden.

😓

I've finished the requirements I need to do for work.

So.

Things to do: 

Read on scholarship/financial aid and put in intro.

Do Chapter 13 of I/O class.

M.A. Degree, so near yet so far...

On my second Venti Frappe Already.

This is me.. this is totally me... 

I am somehow in between because to those who already have M.A. degrees and to those who are already pursuing PHD, I'm a tad slow... but hey!! To those who didn't even take M.A. or those who didn't finish theirs... I'm on a roll... We all write different stories in life... so no need to compare.

My Thesis, in it's Evolution

When I started this blog and my @moocresearch twitter account back in 2013, I was under the impression, assumption and anticipation that I will be focusing my masteral thesis by researching in the context of Massive Open Online Courses (i.e. MOOCs).

To date, it is already 2015, and my thesis topic has nothing to do with MOOCs.

Because you know... plans change and we just have to deal with those kind of changes.

As part of documenting my journey towards a masteral degree (actually, the original blog I created when I started my masteral program in 2009 has already been shut down, by me, due to inactivity of anything related to the academe at some point of my life in 2010 & 2011), I would like to lay down the evolution of my thesis as it was.

September 2013 - I decided to do a research on MOOCs and started reading more about it.

December 2013 - I started writing my MOOC thesis introduction on New Year's eve. I can still remember the adrenalin rush. It felt like all the ideas just started pouring out and transformed into writing. But since I have to conquer passing the comprehensive exams first, the following months was focused on reviewing for it.

January 2014 - Comprehensive Examination (But I so wanted to skip this and jump to Thesis Writing - because MOOCs is just so interesting)

February 2014 - Comprehensive Exam

March 2014 - Results of the Exam (3.91 out of 4.0)

April 2014 - Started to go back to my MOOC research and writing so I can submit a concept paper to my department.

May 2014 - Submitted my 1st Concept Paper (Study about how we can maximize the existence of MOOCs in our teaching practices).

June 2014 -1st Rejection. - At this point I realized I should have submitted my initial paper as soon as I passed the Comprehensive Exam in March. So that as early as March, I would have known that MOOCs would be completely out of the question when it comes to my thesis. And I could have prepared in advance an alternative topic, which was very hard to do considering that I have anticipated working on MOOC research since 2013.

I shouldn't have focused so much on reading up on related literature because the whole MOOC topic was completely just out of the question. So I stopped thinking about thesis for a while. I had to start from scratch. What topic? What theory? What concept?

July 2014 - I finally figured out that I had to work on my resources. My new job was being a scholarships coordinator and my resources was that I handled the scholars in our university. So I tried researching on Financial Aid. This time, I did not focus to much on related literature but I just simply wanted to submit something so that I could know the feedback or improvements immediately.

July 2014 - Submitted 2nd Concept Paper (Study about the academic motivation of students benefiting from financial aid)

I was also prepared for rejection. While my paper was under evaluation and review, I prepared another concept paper which I patterned from our comprehensive exams. The comment I had in my first concept paper was that I was moving away from my masteral program. My masteral program focused on student learning experiences and not on policy reformation.

July 2014 - Submitted 3rd Concept Paper (Study on Learning Strategies)

When I submitted the 3rd Concept Paper, even before I got the results of the 2nd, my department suggested that I get my 2nd paper. I was expecting another disapproved paper so I wasn't too eager to get the results. I told myself I will just get both of my paper at the same time so that if I got rejected for both then I would only have to feel it once at the same time.

But they told me to get the 2nd paper.

Results? DISAPPROVED of course! LOL But wait.. there was a note... "OR You may choose to work on the comments/suggestions of the reviewers".

Suddenly there is light at the end of the thesis.

I never got my 3rd Concept Paper back because they wanted me to focus on my 2nd Concept paper.

My 2nd Concept Paper, focused on the "Academic Motivation of Students Benefiting from Financial Aid" and since I had the option to stay in that topic, I grabbed that option instead of finding a new one. My 2nd Concept Paper involved comparing those who benefit from financial aid and those who do not. One of the suggestions said in my paper was to just focus on one cohort, those benefiting from financial aid.

August 2014 - Revisions made.

Technically, this was already my 4th Concept Paper (Study on academic motivation of students benefiting from financial aid - w/o comparing it with those who do not benefit from financial aid). Before submitting the revised paper, I went to one of my reviewers to ask for clarification with regards to his comments. He gave his immediate feedback which resulted for me to create a new paper, this is the 5th Paper.

August 2014 -  I submitted my 5th Concept Paper (Study on exploring the student experiences of those who are benefiting from financial aid and why they are succeeding academically despite being socioeconomically disadvantaged). *Fourth Submission*

September 2014 - My department chair told me that he wanted to talk to me personally and give some advice with regards to my concept paper. He advised me to narrow down my paper and identify what literature says on why socioeconomically disadvantaged students succeed academically. One example was family and I ended up writing my 6th Concept Paper (Study on perception on parents & basic needs satisfaction of students benefiting from financial aid)

October 2014 - I went to seek an appointment with my undergraduate thesis mentor, who was also one of my reviewers. She was actually the one who strongly advised me to NOT get my 3rd Concept Paper (on Learning Strategies) and to get the results of my 2nd Concept Paper (Academic Motivation). She gave me a high review on that paper. I went to seek her advice to know, why? What good did you find in my paper? Little did she know, she was the one who gave the light at the end of the thesis.

I showed her my 6th Concept Paper, and she reminded me that my paper was only a thesis and not a dissertation. She helped me simplify my thoughts and I ended up working on my 7th Concept paper.

November 2014 - I submitted my 7th Concept Paper (Effect of institutional integration on basic needs satisfaction of students benefiting from financial aid) *Fifth Submission*

December 2014 - Finally. Approved Thesis Topic.

7 completely different research proposals.
5 officially submitted concept papers.

January 2015 - Enroll in Thesis Writing 1.

And so it begins... OFFICIALLY. 

*To be fair to myself, I know I can accomplish so much in one month. When I got my feedback on my 2nd concept paper in August I was able to make 2 revisions. When I sought advice in September, I was able to revise it and show it to my other professor by October. By November I was able to give the revision. 

*Hi. This is just me. Trying to analyze what happened to my 2014 and why I am only enrolling in Thesis this year. 

P.S. Thank you PHD comics for finding humor amidst this agony. 

Back to school work...

I had my first meeting for my industrial psychology graduate class, yesterday.

I was so happy because the first few words that my professor said was that we were going to design the class like a preparatory class for the board examinations. Board exam review cool! Just what I need!! This is going to be awesome!! 

We were only two in the class. I asked my classmate what her purpose of enrolling in the class was and she said she needed it for the psychometric board exam, just like me! 

For a moment there I thought I was going to be in a regular MA class. I feel like I'll be ready to take the board exam soon. Uh.. Right? ... My professor said, we need to study a lot on assessment part. 

Jitters!

On another note, I finally got the approval and enrollment form for my Thesis Writing 1. 

Gulp. 

2015 is a ... Scary yet exciting year for me. 

There is no turning back now. 

I have to work on my research paper. Like.... Quick!!!!! There I go again putting time pressure on myself, but atleast I work on it a few minutes a day and I'll be fine. 

I'm doing this alone now. Sad to say... The people who used to motivate me have gone on their separate lives. I have nobody to push me but myself. 

I can do this !!

Thesis - Board Exam ... Ahk!! -------- 😲😶😖