Ever since I arrived from Canada, I was a broken person. I was broken because I went back home in the Philippines to see my grandfather lifeless in a casket. A few weeks had passed and we weren't done mourning our loss and yet our grandmother decided to go follow my grandfather in eternal rest. I was a broken person whose pieces broke more into little pieces and it was almost impossible to put the pieces back together.
The truth is, the pieces will never be put back together. A part of me will forever be with my grandparents and the the puzzle will never be whole again. How can you complete a jigsaw puzzle if you know that there are pieces missing?
I guess the answer is, you fill those missing pieces with something else to complete the whole. It may not be the same masterpiece as you would have expected to accomplish but it will be still be a masterpiece of your own.
The following months after, my grandparent's passing took a toll on me and I was not sure of my actions. I've flaked out on meeting my friends. I chose the people I would talk to. I missed meetings. I cancelled meetings. I rolled my eyes in every stranger that attempted to cross their paths with me.
I wasn't sure if it was grief, or a life-crisis for entering the third decade of human existence. But what I was certain was I did not like talking to a lot of people. I also allowed myself to fall into nothingness. The state of absolutely doing nothing.
After finishing a number of Television shows, series after series and seasons after another season, I knew I had to do something and change a cycle of nothingness. I started going out, committed myself to volunteer work and even went back to part-time teaching.
Eventually in time, things in my life started to pick up. I realized that I am not going to end the year with a sore heart after all. I'll be spending my 30th birthday week with my friends in Samar and Cebu. I'll be having a birthday party with family and friends. I've started socializing with old friends and gained new friends. I've even gotten unexpected rewards through my part-time teaching. (Plus: purchased good seats for the most awaited Lion King Musical)
God is good and I'm thankful everyday for the things that I have. The power of gratitude. The secret. They really have a magical power of shifting your life in a direction that you can actually control.
You have a control of your life and you are not a victim of the circumstances that you are currently in. You can change your life. You can attract good things. And it starts by being grateful for what you already have.
I thank my truest of truest friends who are always there for me in times of my rollercoaster mood and emotional state. Thank you for being there and continuing to be my friend. I am forever grateful as well!
