Lord, I consult to you my hopes and dreams.

"Then he said to them, “Why are you troubled? And why do questions arise in your hearts? Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself.” (Luke 24: 38 ).

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but what is still possible for you to do." 

Daily Bible Verse from: http://seekfirst.blogspot.com/2018/04/4-15.html

I want to contemplate on the reflection of the daily bible verse and chop it down line by line. This afternoon has been a stressful one for me because of the tedious and daunting process of renewing my Philippine Psychometrician license. I know that a lot of professionals has been complaining about the new process that the government has implemented when it comes to renewing the professional licenses. But there's really nothing that we can do but accept that this is how it goes in the Philippines. Time and Money is being wasted but there's really nothing that we can do but comply. 

If I frustrate myself and stress myself out, then the only person who is losing in this situation is ME. Thus, I want to seek the help of the Lord to help me deal with the stress. 

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams." - I consult my hopes and dreams with the Lord. My hopes and dreams to continue to be a licensed psychometrician and hope that one day I will thank myself for taking the board exam and continuing to renew my license. I am not practicing the profession of the psychometrician but I am hoping that one day maybe this will come helpful and handy. I consult my dreams to the Lord that my career will prosper furthermore. I also consult with the Lord my dreams that maybe one day renewing my license won't be so much of a big deal because maybe one day I will have new personal goals of maybe settling down and focusing on sharing a different life goal with my future partner.

"Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential." - I have been frustrating myself this morning because I missed the opportunity of renewing my license last week when I was in PRC with my mom. I dwelled for it while I was preparing my documents today and realized that I was getting stressed out. I had to stop what I was doing and lay down in bed to analyze the situation. I should not focus on the past and my frustrations. I am only wasting my time dwelling on my frustrations and missing out on working on my unfulfilled potential. But what is my unfulfilled potential? Maybe I should focus more on the event that I am organizing for my work. 

"Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but what is still possible for you to do." - I should stop blaming myself of what I have failed to do last week and focus on maximizing my Sunday. I need to reflect on my homework for my Life in the Spirit Seminar. There is so much more I need to do to work on my personal development and strengthening my faith with the Lord. 

I also need to finish reading my books and studying my Spanish. There's actually a lot of things I need to do. I guess I am a busy person myself and maybe I am getting back on the track now I am realizing that there are a lot of things I should be doing by myself. 

I should also read more about practicing MINDFULNESS.

Take a step back and be mindful of the situation. Why am I feeling the way that I am feeling?
Identify the things that I can control and cannot control.

Things I can control: Prepare my documents, Photocopy my documents, Make an appointment, Pay for the appointment, go to PRC.

Things I cannot control: The number of CPD points that will be assessed based on my professional accomplishments the past 3 years.

Other things I should be doing: 
Organize the Culminating Activity at work.
1) mechanics for the centerpiece, 2) event venue, & 3) performance 

Evaluation report for Davao and Paranaque Schools.
---------------------------------------------------------------

Part of the daily bible verse mentioned that if I keep a journal, I have to recognize the different experiences I have had in life. My journal (i.e. my blog) will help me observe how God has been faithful to me over the years. My journal is showing me me the various blessings that God has provided me throughout the years.

God, I thank you for giving me the wisdom and strength for me to pass the psychometrician board exam last 2015. I am now going to extend my patience in renewing this license. I do not want to take your blessings for granted. I am grateful for the blessing of passing the board exam. 

Chapter 8: How to Avoid Getting Hooked By An Emotionally Immature Parent

I'm almost done reading the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parent.

I'm already in chapter 8 and there are some notes I want to take down and quote from the chapter. 

"Although adolescence and the independence of adulthood can weaken our view of our prents as all-powerful, they don't eradicate it. Therefore, even if they aren't loving, we wishfully think they could be if they wanted to."

"A common fantasy among children of emotionally immature parents is that their parents will have a change of heart and finally love them by showing concern. Unfortunately, self-preoccupied parents refuse all invitations to fulfill their part in their child's healing story."

"Focused on their own healing fantasy, they expect their children to make up for their childhood hurts."

"In adulthood, these children often learn a variety of healthy communication skills and hope that these skills will improve their relationship with their parents. They think they might finally have the techniques necessary to draw their parents into a rewarding interaction."

"Emotional closeness demanded a level of emotional maturity her mother simply didn't have." 

"You need to find a way forward that didn't involve the parent's participation. That's the only thing that works with parents who are terrified of emotional intimacy."

"You can have a relationship with your parent but it wouldn't be the kind of relationship you yearn for. Your best option is to manage your interactions deliberately, rather than seeking emotional intimacy."

"Her mother was just passing her trauma down the line, as people tend to do when they repress their childhood pain."

"Annie was so intent on winning her mother's approval that she'd stopped evaluating the relationship. She'd never asked herself whether Betty was the type of person she enjoyed being around." 

"Annie summed up her experience of being an observer by saying that she finally figured out who her mother is and accepted her mother's personality. It's not about Annie. She didn't get sucked into how her mother is acting like the one who is hurt. She was able to separate her behavior from her sense of worth."

"Three key approaches will help you free yourself from getting caught up in your parent's emotional immaturity: DETACHED OBSERVATION, MATURITY AWARENESS, and STEPPING AWAY FROM YOUR OLD ROLE-SELF.

DETACHED OBSERVATION

"Emotionally immature parent can probably never fulfill your childhood vision of a loving parent. The only achievable goal is to act from your own true nature, not the role-self that pleases your parent. You can't win your parent over, but you can save yourself." 

"in families dominated by emotionally immature people, enmeshment and playing roles are valued in order to keep the family 'close'. Of course, genuine communication and emotional intimacy are absent in such families." 

"When interacting with emotionally immature people, you'll feel more centered if you operate from a calm, thinking perspective, rather than emotional reactivity."

"Your job is to stay detached emotionally and observe how others behave, just like a scientist would."

"If you find yourself becoming reactive, silently repeat to yourself, "Detach, detach, detach." 

"Staying observational isn't passive; it's a very active process. As you practice observing, you'll become stronger and more confident in your ability to see what's really going on, especially now that you have more of an understanding of emotional immaturity." 

Relationship versus Relatedness

"Observing allows you to stay in a state of relatedness with you parents without getting caught up in their emotional tactics and expectations about how you should be."

"Relatedness is different from relationship. In relatedness, there's communication but no goal of having a satisfying emotional exchange. You stay in contact, handle others as you need to, and have whatever interactions are tolerable without exceeding the limits that work for you."

"In contrast, engaging in a real relationship means being open and establishing emotional reciprocity. If you try this with emotionally immature people, you'll feel frustrated and invalidated."

"It makes more sense to aim for simple relatedness with emotionally immature people, saving your relationship aspirations for people who can give something back." 

There are 3 ways to relate to emotionally immature people without getting yourself upset:

1) Expressing and then letting go

2) Focusing on the outcome, not the relationship

3) Managing, not engaging

EXPRESSING AND THEN LETTING GO

"Explicitly say what you feel or want and enjoy that act of self-expression, but release any need for the other person to hear you or change. You can't force others to empathize or understand. Others may or may not respond how you want them to, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you expressed your true thoughts and feelings in a calm and clear way.

FOCUSING ON THE OUTCOME, NOT THE RELATIONSHIP 

"Ask yourself what you're really trying to get from the other person in this interaction." 

"If your goal involves empathy or a change of heart on your parent's part, stop right there and come up with a different goal - one that's specific and achievable. Remember, you can't expect immature, emotionally phobic people to be different from how they are. However, you can set a specific goal for the interaction."

"The key is to go into the interaction always knowing the end point you with to arrive at. Focus on the outcome, not the relationship. As soon as you focus on the relationship and try to improve it or change it at an emotional level, an interaction with an emotionally immature person will deteriorate. The person will regress emotionally and attempt to control you so that you'll stop upsetting him or her."

MANAGING, NOT ENGAGING

"Instead of emotionally engaging with immature people, set a goal of managing the interaction." 

"You may need to repeatedly redirect the conversation where you want it to go."

"Emotionally immature people don't have a good strategy for countering another person's persistence. Their attempts at diversion and avoidance ultimately break down if you keep asking the same question."

CONCERNS ON THE MATURITY AWARENESS APPROACH

"If you're getting emotional, angry, or disappointed, it's best to switch over to observing objectively and managing the interaction. You aren't being cold; you're focusing on what helps you maintain emotional balance." 

"We can all get overwhelmed by another person's emotion. That's known as emotional contagion. But you'll feel more secure if you set an intention of observing what's happening, rather than becoming swept up in it. Even a bit of observation will help lift you out of the pressure to feel other's distress, not yours. You might feel some of it but you don't have to become as distressed as they are."

"Satisfying a child's physical and financial needs is not the same as meeting that child's emotional needs."

"You can't make your parents happy if they are always unhappy about something. Whatever you do, your parents don't stay happy for long. Just because they are complaining doesn't necessarily mean their goal is to feel better. That's your interpretation. Treat them nicely, but don't bleed for them. Their healing story and role-selves may require a lot of suffering and complaining. It isn't your job to abandon your own path and try to push them from behind. If you do, they're likely to become even more difficult and unpleasant." 

STEPPING OUT OF AN OLD ROLE-SELF

"The ability to step back and observe not only your parent but also your own role-self is where emotional freedom begins."

"The ultimate goal in any interaction with an emotionally immature person is to keep a grip on your own mind and feelings. To do this, you need to stay observational, noticing how you're feeling and how the other person is acting. From this perspective, you can retain your individual point of view and be more immune to the other person's emotional contagion."

"Be cautious about new openness because as a child becomes more of an individual, the emotionally immature parent's knee-jerk reaction is to do something to force the child back into an enmeshed pattern. If the child doesn't take the bait, such parents may ultimately start relating in a more genuine way. Be cautions because if your parents show uncharacteristic openness in response to your observational and goal-directed approach, they might start treating you with more respect or open up a bit, and you could be vuneravle to getting sucked back into your old healing fantasy."

"Be careful! Your inner child will always hope your parents will finally change and offer what you've always longed for. But your job is to keep your adult outlook and continue relating to them as a separate, independent adult. At this point, you're looking for an adult relationship with them, not a re-creation of parent-child dynamics."

"Your true self knows everyone involved and the reality of the situation, so it's likely to come up with exactly the response that's needed. But the only way the true self can do that is if you stay in an objective, watchful states that's grounded in your own individuality."

"Our early dependence on our parents makes us seek their love and attention. However, we must step away from our childhood roles if we don't want to repeate them in our adult relationships. The maturity awareness approach will help you deal with an emotionally immature parent or any difficult, self-involved person - more effectively."

Why are there so many emotionally immature parents?

Excerpts taken from Chapter 2 of "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents"

Why are there so many emotionally immature parents?

"It seems that many [emotionally immature parents] never had a supportive or emotionally intimate connection with their own parents, so they developed tough defenses to survive their own emotional loneliness early in life."

"Old-school parenting was very much about children being seen but not heard."

"Parenting tended to focus on obedience as the gold standard of children's development, rather than thinking about supporting children's emotional security and individuality."

Effects of old-school parenting are passed down to children who become adults and parents of their own.

"We didn't give a damn about your feelings; we just kept a roof over your heads."

"Emotionally immature parents were once children themselves, and as children they may have had to shut down many of their deepest feelings in order to be acceptable to their own parents."

"Their personalities are like stunted bonsai trees, trained to grow in unnatural shapes. Because they had to bend to fit their families, they were unable to develop fluidly into the integrated, natural people they might have become."

Differences in Quality of Thought

"There are often intellectual difference between emotionally mature and immature people."

"If your parents grew up in a family atmosphere that was full of anxiety and judgment, they may have learned to think narrowly and resist complexity."

"Excessive childhood anxiety leads not only to emotional immaturity but also to oversimplified thinking that cannot hold opposing ideas in mind."

"Emotionally immaturity is a real phenomenon that has been studied and written about for a long time. It undermines people's ability to deal with stress and to be emotionally intimate with others."

"Emotionally immature people have an oversimplified approach to life, narrowing situations down to fit their rigid coping skills."

"Having such limited sense of self makes them egocentric and undermines their ability to be sensitive to other's people's needs and feelings."

"Their reactive emotions, lack of objectivity, and fear of emotional intimacy can make close relationships difficult, especially when it comes to their children."

Chapter 2: Recognizing the Emotionally Immature Parent

Excerpts from "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents"

Chapter 2: Recognizing the Emotionally Immature Parent

"Most signs of emotional immaturity are beyond a person's conscious control, and most emotionally immature parents have no awareness of how they've affected their children."

"We aren't trying to blame these parents, but to understand why they are the way they are."

"Emotionally immature parents can have devastating impacts on their children's self-esteem and relationships in adulthood."

"Personality pattern versus Temporary emotional regression"

"Emotionally immature people don't step back and think about how their behavior impact others"

"Emotional maturity means a person is capable of thinking objectively and conceptually while sustaining deep emotional connections to others"

EMOTIONAL IMMATURE PEOPLE

They are rigid and single-minded
- "Once they form an opinion, their minds are closed."
- "There's one right answer, and they can become very defensive and humorless when people have other ideas."

They have low stress tolerance
- "Their responses are reactive and stereotyped"
- "They use coping mechanisms to deny, distort or replace reality."
- "They have trouble admitting mistakes and instead discount the facts and blame others."
- "They often overreact."

They do what feels best
- "They make decisions on the basis of what feels best in the moment and often follow the path of least resistance."

They are subjective, not objective
- "When they interpret situations, how they are feeling is more important than what is actually happening."
- "What is true doesn't matter nearly as much as what feels true."

They have little respect for differences
- "Emotionally immature people are annoyed by other people's differing thoughts and opinions, believing everyone should see things their way."

They are egocentric
- "Emotionally immature people are self-preoccupied in an obsessed way, not with the innocence of a child."
- "Young children are self-centered because they're still commanded by pure instinct, but emotionally immature adults are commanded by anxiety and insecurity."
- "Before you start feeling too sorry for them, keep in mind that their defenses work seamlessly to keep these underlying anxieties below the level of awareness. They would never see themselves as being insecure or defensive."

They are self-preoccupied and self-involved
- "They're constantly monitoring whether their needs are being met or whether something has offended them."
- "Their self-esteem rises or falls depending on how others react to them."
- "Because their self-involvement is all-consuming, other people's feelings are eclipsed by their needs."
- They are profoundly self-involved because their development was stunted by anxiety during childhood.

They are self-referential, not self-reflective
- "Emotionally immature people are highly self-referential, meaning that in any interaction, all roads lead back to them."
- "Their focus on themselves isn't about gaining insights or self-understanding; it's about being the center of attention."
- "As you talk to them, self-referential people will turn whatever you say back to one of their own experiences."
- "Those who are more socially skilled might listen more politely, but still won't hold their interest. They may not overtly change the subject, but they won't ask follow-up questions or express curiosity about the details of your experience.
- "Because they lack self-reflection, emotionally immature people don't consider their role in a problem."
- "Their egocentric focus remains on their intention, not the impact on you."

They like to be the center of attention
- "In groups, the most emotionally immature person often dominates the group's time and energy."
- "You may wonder whether these people are just being extroverted. The difference if that most extroverts easily follow a change of topic. Because extroverts crave interaction, not just an audience, they're interested and receptive when others participate."

They promote role reversal
- "The parent relates to the child as if the child were the parent, expecting attentiveness and comfort from the child."
- " These parents may reverse roles and expect for their child to be their confidant, even for adult matters."
- "Parents who discuss their marriage problems with their children are an example of this kind of reversal."

They have low empathy and are emotionally insensitive.
- "Impaired empathy is a central characteristic of emotionally immature people, as is avoidance of emotional sharing and intimacy."
- "They are strikingly blind to how they make other feel."
- "True empathy involves more than knowing what people feel; it also entails the ability to resonate with those feelings."
- "In spite of not resonating empathically, [emotionally immature people] are often quite canny when it comes to reading other people's intentions and feelings"

They are often inconsistent and contradictory
- "Emotionally immature people are like amalgam of various borrowed parts, many of which don't go together well. Because they had to shut down important parts of themselves out of fear of their parent's reactions, their personalities formed in isolated clumps, like pieces of puzzle that don't fit together."
- "Their personalities are weakly structured, and they often express contradictory emotions and behaviors."
- "They step in and out of emotional states, never noticing their inconsistency. When they become parents, these traits create emotional bafflement in their children."
- "Emotionally immature people may be either loving or detached, depending on their mood."
- "Intermittent reward situation: Meaning that getting a reward for your efforts is possible but completely unpredictable. This creates a tenacious resolve to keep trying to get the reward, because once in a while these efforts do pay off."
- "Parental inconsistency can be the quality that binds children most closely to their parent, as they keep hoping to get that infrequent and elusive positive response."
- "Since a parent's response provides a child's emotional compass for self-worth, such children also are likely to believe that their parent's changing moods are somehow their fault."

They develop strong defense that take the place of the self
- "Emotionally immature people learn during childhood  that certain feelings were bad and forbidden."
- "Not realizing the magnitude of their parents' developmental limitations, many children of emotionally immature people think there must be a genuine, fully developed person hiding inside the parent."
"But when people's defenses have become an integral part of their personality, they're as real as a scar tissue in the body. It may not have belonged there originally, but once formed, it's enduring."
- "Whether they can ultimately become more authentic and emotionally available, depends on their ability to self-reflect."
- "Unfortunately, if their parents aren't interested in noticing their impacts on others, they have no impetus to look at themselves, without self-reflection, there's no way to change."

They fear feelings
- "As children, many emotionally immature people grew up in homes where they were taught that the spontaneous expression of certain feelings was a shameful breach of family custom."
- "As a result, they anxiously sought to inhibit their genuine reactions, developing defensive behaviors instead of experiencing their true feelings and impulses."
- "Affect phobia can lead to an inflexible, narrow personality based on rigid defenses against certain feelings. As adults, these emotionally immature people have an automatic anxiety reaction when it comes to deep emotional connection."
- "As parents, they pass down this fear of vulnerable emotions to their children."
- "Many children of emotionally phobic parents develop the fear that if they start crying, they'll never stop, which arises because they were never allowed to find out that crying naturally stops on its own when allowed its full expression."
- "Even positive feelings of joy and excitement can become associated with anxiety."

They focus on physical instead of emotional
-"Emotionally immature parents can do a good job of taking care of their children's physical and material needs.
- "But when it comes to emotional matters, they can be oblivious to their children's needs."
- "Being well cared for in non-emotional areas can create confusion in people who grow up feeling emotionally lonely. They have overwhelming physical evidence that their parents loved and sacrificed for them, but they feel a painful lack of emotional security and closeness with their parents."

They can be killjoys
- "Fear of genuine emotion can cause emotionally immature people to be killjoys."
- "As parents, instead of enjoying their children's excitement and enthusiasm, they may abruptly change the subject or warn them not to get their hopes up."
- "In response to their children's exuberance, they're likely to say something dismissive or skeptical to bring it down a notch."

They have intense but shallow emotions
- "Emotionally immature people are easily overwhelmed by deep emotion, and they display their uneasiness by transmuting it into quick reactivity."
- "Their reactivity may seem to indicate that they're passionate and deeply emotional, but their emotional expression often has a glancing quality, almost like a stone skipping the surface rather than going into the depths."
- "When interacting with such people, the weirdly shallow quality of their emotions may leave you feeling unmoved by their distress."
- "Because they overreact so frequently, you may quickly learn to tune them out for the sake of your own emotional survival."

They don't experience mixed emotions
- "The ability to feel mixed emotions is a sign of maturity."
- "If people can blend contradictory emotions together, such as happiness with guilt, or anger with love, it shows that they can encompass life's emotional complexity."
- "The reactions of emotionally immature people tend to be black-and-white, with no gray areas. This rules out ambivalence, dilemmas, and other emotionally complicated experiences."

Difficulties with conceptual thinking
- "As children enter their teen years, their ability to self-reflect skyrockets because they become able to think about their own thinking. However, the intense emotions and anxiety that emotionally immature people experience can decrease their ability to think at this higher level."
- "Frequent lack of self-reflection comes from the tendency to regress and temporarily lose their ability to think about their thinking."
- "Emotionally immature people who are otherwise intelligent can think conceptually and show insight as long as they don't feel too threatened in the moment."

Proneness to literal thinking
- "If you listen to the conversations of emotionally immature people, you may notice how routine and literal their thinking is."
- "Emotionally immature people tend to talk about what happened or what they observed, not the world of feelings or ideas."

Intellectualizing obsessively
- "Overintellectualizing and getting obsessed about certain topics is a cognitive sign of emotional immature people."
- "Their preocuppation with ideas distracts them from emotional intimacy. They may discuss their favorite topics at length, but they don't really engage the other person."
- "Although they can think conceptually while communicating their ideas, they're only comfortable if things stay on an impersonal and intellectual level."

Done reading Chapter 2! 

Reading: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Important excerpts from the book that I want to remember:

CHAPTER 1: How Emotionally Immature Parents Affect Their Children's Lives.

"Emotional neglect in childhood leads to a painful emotional loneliness that can have a long-term negative impact on a person's choices regarding relationships and intimate partners."

"Emotionally immature parents fear genuine emotion and pull back from emotional closeness. They use coping mechanism that resist reality rather than dealing with it. They don't welcome self-reflection, so they rarely accept blame or apologize. Their immaturity makes them inconsistent and emotionally unreliable, and they're blind to their children's needs once their own agenda comes into play."

Fairytales 

Children = abandoned and seek aid from other people

Parents = careless, clueless or absent

"Children must take their survival into their own hands" 

"By grasping the concept of emotional immaturity, you can develop more realistic expectations of other people, accepting the level of relationship possible with them instead of feeling hurt by their lack of response."

"The loneliness of feeling unseen by others is a fundamental a pain as physical injury, but it doesn't show on the outside. Emotional loneliness is a vague and private experience, not easy to see or describer. You might all it a feeling of emptiness or being alone in the world. Some people have called this feeling existential loneliness but there's nothing existential about it. If you feel it, it came from your family."

"When the children of emotionally immature parents grow up, the core emptiness remains, even if they have a superficially normal adult life. Their loneliness can continue into adulthood if they unwittingly choose relationships that can't give them enough emotional connection."

"You might have thought that feeling empty and alone was your own private, strange experience, something that made you different from other people. As a child, you have no way of knowing that this hollow feeling is a normal, universal response to lacking adequate human companionship."

"Once you start listening to your emotions instead of shutting them down, they will guide you toward an authentic connection with others. Knowing the cause of your emotional loneliness is the first step toward finding more fulfilling relationships."

"Lacking adequate parental support or connection, many emotionally deprived children are eager to leave childhood behind. They perceive that the best solution is to grow up quickly and become self-sufficient. These children become competent beyond their years but lonely at their core."

"Classic confusion of a person whose physical needs were met in childhood while emotional needs remained unfulfilled. [They] often feel guilty for complaining. Men and Women alike will list the things they have to be thankful for, as if their life were an addition problem whose positive sum means nothing can be wrong. But they can't shake the feeling of being fundamentally alone and lacking the level of emotional intimacy they crave in their closes relationships."

"Emotionally disconnected parents don't suddenly develop a capacity for empathy just because a child does something to please them."

"Emotional connection is a basic human need, regardless of gender."

"People who lacked emotional engagement in childhood, men and women alike, often can't believe that someone would want to have a relationship with them just because of who they are. They believe that if they want closeness, they must play a role that always puts the other person first."

"Feeling trapped in taking care of parents"

"Their experiences with their parents have taught them that relationships mean feeling abandoned and burdened at the same time. To these people, relationships feel like traps."

"Fortunately [she] summoned the strength to establish her own independent life. In the process, she discovered that guilt was a manageable emotion, and a small price to pay for her freedom."

"Not until she was nearly fifty did she begin to understand how her relationship with her mother fueled her underlying feelings of anxiety. That was one of the most meaningful discoveries of her life."

"A lack of emotional intimacy creates emotional loneliness in both children and adults."

"Even adult success doesn't completely erase the effects of parental disconnection earlier in life."

"Understanding how your parent's emotional immaturity has affected you is the best way to avoid repeating the past in you adult relationships."

Finally done with Chapter one! 

This book totally talks about how childhood trauma can affect us in adulthood. The book's approach is more on psychodynamic theory on personalities. I think I need to go through my theories of personality notes and read again about psychodynamic psychologists. 

From the unconscious to the subconscious and out in the surface of the conscious. 

Let's talk about Mental Health.

Today, I had a conversation with a lady who lives in New York and we talked about Mental Health.

We talked about culture and how some cultures normalize behaviors that may seem "healthy" for those group of people but is really unhealthy. Sounds like a sensitive issue when we talk about culture + mental health, huh?

Anyway, she told me to read this book: 

The title is pretty interesting. 

I guess the takeaway realization from my conversation with this lady is that I'm probably going to renew my psychometrician license even if I have to pay membership and penalty fees for not joining the Psychological Association of The Philippines when I got my license. 

I guess I'm going to renew my membership and join the organization and actually start immersing myself in the psychological community even if I am not practicing it by profession.

Well, I am sort of applying psychology in my education related work but that's why I renewed my teaching license. But for my psychometrician license, I haven't really had a job that called the need for practicing it. 

But again, after my conversation with the lady in New York, I will keep my license and maybe start attending some seminars and activities of the Psychological Association to immerse myself with awareness of mental health apart from the books and discussions I've had inside the classroom. 

Time to put that in my to do list:

APPLY MEMBERSHIP FOR PAP. 

PREPARE MATERIALS TO CLAIM GOOD MORAL CERTIFICATE.

RENEW PSYCHOMETRICIAN LICENSE.

Alright I'm going to try check this book out. 

When people ask me what my work is...

Okay, last year I made a post trying to explain what a psychometrician was so that when people ask me what a psychometrician is I have a script to follow. This is because it's just so difficult to sometimes explain to people who are not in your field and make them understand what it really means. You have to convert it to something useful and relevant to them.

Psychometricians: They develop tests like personality tests, aptitude tests, psychological tests etc. I think that's understandable right?

Now when people ask me what my work is or what I am currently studying on, and then I say what my course is: "oh you want to be a teacher?"

It's not that I DON'T want to be a teacher, but there's just more in education than that. Of course one day I want to teach inside the classroom. But how do I explain the job of an instructional designer? or a Curriculum writer?

I would sometimes say "We write a compilation of lesson plans for teachers to use". Lesson plans are a layman's term right?

But recently I found a much simpler version of it all: "We write books for students."

And then I get the idea they understand what they basically mean. Save the technicalities for those who wish to learn more about my profession.

Let results speak for themselves.

You only live once.

It's Fund Raising again for my favorite student organization: The Lasallian Scholars Society.

They grow up so fast :( 

Now it it's second year and they're so independent !! 

My favorite Lasallians !!! Love them!! 

Got invited to this exclusive event by Globe telecom! 

Very interesting and informative session done by well chosen speakers. 

Happy to see Brother Dennis of DLS-CSB over here !!

Finally got my official Oathtaking photos as well. This is my highschool friend pinning the Psychometrician pin on me. Friends forever. 

What is a Psychometrician?

I've always been asked by that question whenever people find out I'm a registered professional Psychometrician.

The Philippine professional regulation commission just released a board exam for Psychometrician license last 2014 and I took the test this year as part of the second batch.

I would always wish people didn't ask me what a Psychometrician is. People don't ask what a doctor is, what a psychologist is, what a counselor is or what a psychiatrist is.

It's sad because you realize that your profession isn't really that well known. On another hand it's better than having a stigma in your profession like how people don't want others to know they visit a psychologist or psychiatrist because they know people will just label them as being crazy. 

Come to think of it, I guess it's the opportunities like this we psychometricians can get to build our name.  And making sure people understand it correctly.

For most cases, I use the analogy of a nurse & a doctor. That we psychometricians are the nurse to a psychologist. The assistant. 

I know. Shame on me. Why am I dumb downing the profession? Some people would say "oh okay, I get it" then we move on to another discussion. While some would respond, "I don't get it". Now we get deeper into talking about it. But then I ask myself the same question, "What is a Psychometrician?"

Of course I've read through the documents when I was studying for the board exam but seems like it the documents are a bit misleading. It is because of those documents that I started believing that we are the assistants of psychologists because there's a part that gives us certain limitations that we cannot practice our profession without a registered psychologist. Much like a somebody with a student driver's license won't give you enough driving privileges unless you have somebody with you that has a qualified driver's license. 

But as more people asked me what a Psychometrician is, turns out I am a psychologist myself but we are specializing in psychometrics. Those people who are In charge of making sure that tests measure what it intends to measure and are reliable. People who make sure you don't misinterpret them too. 

From this day on after I publish this post I will do away with my automatic simple response of comparing psychometricians to a nurse:Doctor analogy. Because turns out we are psychologists ourselves too. I can call myself a psychologist because I maiored in psychology. 

I don't know why I'm dumb downing being a registered psychometrician just because because being a registered psychologist is of "higher" position here.

(Qualifications to take psychometric board exam is a bachelor degree in psychology while qualifications to take psychology board exam is a master's degree in psychology)

Hey I'm taking my masters too! 

(Just not in Psychology)

And I really really worked myself hard to pass the damn board exam that even my forme psychology professor who's a well known professor here and internationally told me that I should be proud of myself because it's difficult to pass that exam. 

Maybe I'm just not practicing what a traditional Psychometrician is. I'm not working in a clinic administering and interpreting psychological tests nor am I in a guidance counselor office explaining the achievement or personality test results to students. But I'm applying the principles and my knowledge on psychometrics in the academe through research and proper student assessments. 

Next time a person asks me what is a Psychometrician I'll explain exactly what it is and not how the PRC board explain our roles to be. 

I'll still make it simple but more accurate than the nurse and doctor analogy. 

Psychometricians are responsible in making sure that tests are valid and reliable. They are responsible to make sure that tests measure what they intend to measure and that people don't misinterpret it. 

Because in a society that relies a lot of their decisions on test results and in a society that label people based on these results, it is important that those tests really measure and represent what their supposed to be. 

Or else you'll end up being a fish who believes he's dumb just because he could learn to climb a tree. 

--- that's true and from now on I'm not just going to be proud of passing the board exam, but I will also be proud that I am a Psychometrician. 

Academic Year 2015-2016

Hopefully my last academic year for masters studies. 

I should jump back to my thesis writing now. 

But then as the school year starts, also come all these distractions. 

This is like, repeating history.

But I should know better now!

Let's do this and graduate.

On another note, I finally have oath taking tickets!!

Workshop on Developing an Educational Technology Implementation Plan #Philippines #DETIP2015 #GoogleEdu

Google apps for Education and Educational Technology.

Super stoked for the Google workshop I'm privilege to attend next week !!

If it weren't for my friend sharing a portion of the description, I wouldn't know we were required to do some advanced reading. But I saw the list, and as an educational technology enthusiast, I'm pretty much well versed with these anyway so going through this list shall be a breeze! 

Industrial Psychology: Board Exam Review Day 1

My pre-test results

Not bad for a pre-test but considering I just recently took an industrial psychology class this previous term, I should have gotten atleast 80+ !!! 

Confounding variable I was a bit sleepy and it's been over a year since I took an exam (comprehensive examinations). I need to train myself again to be an expert test taker.

The reality is, even if you know all the knowledge and content of the subject matter, if you're not good with time pressure and multiple choice exams, you are... Doomed.

The goal is to top the psychometrician board exam.

This is going to be an intensive three (3) months.

LET'S DO THIS

congratulations Toni for topping the board!!

board exam review

So this is it, my schedule for my board examination review classes.

I really do not know the things I put myself into (I.e. Comprehensive exam, thesis track, board exam), but... You know... Let's do this! The goal is to Top the exam! 

The end of a trimester is just the beginning of everything.

Term 3 AY14-15 grades are out and everybody is rejoicing for finishing one school year and enjoying the vacation.

I on the other hand, Of course expected these grades. I should pass, no question about that. It's a MUST. 

And I still don't have the reason to rejoice because ...

1) I still have to work on my revisions such as: 

Revise the review of related literature. To do that I have to do massive readings again.

Prepare my questionnaires. Can't do this unless I finish the first one.

2) Review for the board exams, am I really ready for this... This year? 

Where to start... Where to start... 

Well I just took industrial psychology recently to complete my units.... And the rest of the subjects I took 7-10 years ago. ... Theories of Personality seems to be a good start. I don't have the reference or tips yet so I guess I'll stick with Google first.