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Free movie screening for our public teachers.

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University Teaching

I have been in the education industry since the beginning of my college life. But for some reason or another, I have not committed to any classroom teaching, although I have had a lot of experiences in handling students.

Lately, I have been reading Joyce Meyer's "I DARE YOU" and it talked about pursuing your dreams and chasing bigger dreams. It ended up daring me the one thing that I have been constantly avoiding and been secretly afraid of: the commitment to classroom teaching.

I want to teach (in a classroom) one day, and I haven't completely figured out what has been stopping me. The commitment that I can't spontaneously travel once I begin a school year or a school term? The fear of embarrassing myself? The fear of failure? The fear of rejection?

There is a new program in my university and it's Masters in Educational Technology.

This proposal has been announced since 2016 and I remember telling the college dean how I wish the program existed when I was starting with my masters. Educational Technology was my thing that I actually had a crazy idea of wanting to "enroll" in graduate school again and get another master's degree which was crazy because back then I was already finishing my current masters program.

The college dean planted an idea that why not teach in the program instead???

The question is: Why didn't I actually frame this in my bedroom to serve as a reminder that I want to teach EdTech students???

So that was 2 years ago and the graduate program just started recently and now I regret not taking the invite to teach the program, seriously. I want to. I would love to.

I guess it's not yet too late to express interest, am I right? I know I can do it, even the former OIC-president of the university encouraged me that I can teach in the program.

What encouragement do I still seek?

Or more importantly, who's validation am I trying to seek approval of?

I'm making this blog post because I'm trying to figure out where this fear is coming from. I want to know the source of this constant seeking of validation. WHOSE validation am I waiting for?

I have been delaying and delaying and delaying to become an actual fully pledged "teacher" and have a "class" I can call my own. I'm scared but deep inside I want it.

I'm starting to believe these are just devil's lies. The devil telling me that I am not good enough or that I don't deserve it or that I am not yet "ready". This is the devil trying to stop me to fulfill what God's purpose for my life is.

May this blogpost remind me of this day that I promise not to let rejection and failure stop me from keeping on chasing bigger things. It's been a year since I sank down in depression mourning for the simultaneous loss of my grandparents, a year of pacifying myself for the multiple rejections I've had trying to look for a bigger break, a year dealing with my pre-30 and post-30 crisis and eventually giving up on my ultimate desire for international experiences.

But a year is enough to waste on being stuck in a dead end. I must not settle. I must not allow myself to remain comfortable. I must constantly push myself of accomplishing bigger things, one after the other, despite multiple failures and rejection.

Because I'm only 30...

As my cousin said, we are still very young.

We just have to keep trying despite the many times we've been rejected.

God's denial doesn't always mean "NEVER".. it could also mean "NOT YET".

I will not be afraid because I know that the Lord is always with me.

Main Highlights for the past months.

I went on an Instagram and Facebook hiatus at around March and went off the grid from most of my friends. If you've observed the trend of my posts last April it sounded that I was really troubled for one reason or another. The digital hiatus and Christian rehabilitation I've gone through the past months truly helped and I have been given a new life. It was as if, as St. Paul has experienced, "scales have fallen from my eyes" and I have seen a better way to live my life.

As I recall what major highlights I failed to post in my blog there were two events I'd like to put on record.

May 2018 - Culminating Activity (An event at work that I headed)
June 2018 - Hillsong Concert (A Christian concert that I attended with my church friends)

I really rarely take on a role when it comes to heading event programs because I either panic or get really stressed out when things don't go as it was planned but with God's grace this event was so so so successful! Of course things didn't go exactly as we planned it to be but we handle it beautifully! 

Cheers to more events that I will handle. 

When I booked tickets for this concert it was way back in March and I really didn't know who or what Hillsong was. I also don't attend concerts that much. But the tickets were cheap and I was thinking maybe it'll be interesting. As the day came closer I got really excited because I learned to love Hillsong songs! I'm really blessed and happy with my new church friends. 

Fountain Show at Okada Hotel

Our view from Okada Hotel <3 

Sacred Heart Reinthrownment

Mother's Day, Father's Day, Reinthrownment of Sacred Heart, Family lunches. 

I've really grown to love family gatherings. When all has failed and left you, it's your family that will always be there. You really have no other choice, actually! 

They will be there whether you like it or not! XD

I miss my grandparents. This July & August will be relieving the memories of the past and the afflictions of the heart, as we commemorate my grandparent's first death anniversary. 

I miss you and love you Lolo and Lola! 

Thank you God for the blessing you have graced me with in the past months!

A new job, more teas and a musical.

For the past weeks or so, I have spent most of my time mussing over the fact that I am turning 30 soon. I flaked out on meeting my friends. I've cancelled plans. I barely wanted to socialize with anybody.

I was entering a decade that was all about settling and I had a lot of destructive thoughts lingering in my head with so many questions about how my life turned out to be, how it would turn out to be and especially questions if this is how my life will be for as long as I live. It was a depressive plus grieving stage but, I'm happy to say I think I've gotten over it. I could only allow myself to be at the nothingness stage for so long.

I have now found new purposes in my life to look forward to. 

I purchased tickets to the Lion King musical after debating with myself whether or not if I would purchase it. For one, I've been waiting so long for this musical to arrive the Philippines. However, the tickets are so expensive and I would only want the really really really good seats if I ever do decide to watch this broadway award winning musical. Another thing is that I don't want to watch it alone, of course. But none of my friends seem to be showing any interest or eagerness to spend that much money. So I bought tickets today at the premium seats and I got one for my sister and another one for myself. The ticket prices are really steep but then I also realized that if I were on "vacation", I would have actually purchased the same amount as well. I also panicked a little bit when I recognized that the good seats are slowly being taken. So there. Booked. Front Row, Premium Seats. 

Lesson Learned: If you know that you really really really want something and you know you'd spend your life thinking of "What if you bought it", then don't doubt yourself and just make that purchase. You'll feel better afterwards.

Otherwise, if you know you only half-want something and you're not sure if you really want it then don't buy it. Wait for a day to decide and then come back for it if you know you want it. (Case example: Gym membership XD)

Another thing I will be looking forward to is my DavidSTea purchase. When I was in Canada I practically spent over $200 coming back and forth and buying DavidSTeas. Some were good buys, some were not so good buys (chocolate and candy mints). But this time, I know I'll stick to the tea leaves. 

A friend is going to Canada and I'm ordering the teas online for him to bring back home to me. I am going to spend a steep amount of money for teas (again) because I wanted to qualify for the free shipping. Shipping fee costs more than 50grams of tea so might as well just buy more tea. I love DavidSTea. 

My last news is that I made a new commitment. I have a new job apart from my current full-time job as a curriculum writer. I am going back to teaching. I am going back to tutoring former students of mine as a homeschool teacher. Sometimes I wonder if I devalue myself when it comes to professional fees. It's hard to give a price for your service and at the same time you are not sure if your clients can afford it. You also don't want to feel that you are taken advantaged of. But I guess this is also part of learning.

I took this extra job as means of additional socialization and for me to be able to exercise my teaching skills since my office job focuses on the curriculum development part rather than first hand implementation. 

I am looking forward to this new endeavor. It's a new purpose for me to wake up everyday. Although I am still not sure if I was able to give a good rate of my professional value but I will charge this to experience. I am sure that at the end of it all I would gain something out of this interaction.

In the end. I am happy that I have awoken from the nothingness.

I am now ready to face life in the 3rd decade with a new perspective and less fear.

Grit is the key to success.

"Grit is passion and perseverance for very long term goals."

"Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in and day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years and working really hard to make that future a reality."

Helping to build grit in kids is the: Growth Mindset.

"This is the belief that the ability to learn is not fixed. That it can change with your effort."

Kids with a growth mindset do not believe that failure is a permanent condition.

Grit is the key to success.

This is a call for researching more ways how we can build GRIT.

Angela Lee Duckworth: The key to success? Grit

Student Expectations: More about being Learner-Centered

Teachers have expectations of their students... But we also need to remember and take into consideration that our STUDENTS also have their own expectations. It's important to recognize them.

This video is an example. Different students will of course have different expectations.

How do you know what students need to learn? #RHIZO14

Mr. Dave Cormier raised me a question via twitter. Actually, two questions.

Literally scratched my head...

Here I am, reading and discussing with my gradschool classmates about Learner-Centered Teaching and the question posed to me made me stop and say... "Good question". Am I really qualified to earn the degree on being a "Master" in Learning in Teaching? heh.. These questions ARE related to learning & teaching.

I raised these questions to my gradschool classmates and told them that even if it wasn't about our comprehensive examination review topics, we should try to answer the questions on our own to prepare ourselves in practicing taking an exam. Exercise some critical thinking and test-taking skills.

Tests bring out all sorts of emotions, anxiety, pressure. I myself hate taking exams. The reason I loved college because my undergraduate degree barely didn't have final examinations. Most of my courses required research outputs or other types of paper work. I remember during finals week, my block would run wild and free while the rest of the university was stressing on reviewing notes and feeling all the anxiety.

There's something about exams that give me anxiety, probably the pressure of sitting in a chair for a couple of hours and forcing ourselves to create and squeeze out information from our minds. With the pressure of being "graded". I should probably take advantage of my excessive talking, rationalizing and over-thinking as an advantage for my compre. *Metacognition in the process here*

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How do you know what the students should learn? 

After much thought, I realized this is in relation to Maryellen Weimer's "Function of Content". How do we know which content to remove in our syllabus and which ones should stay? She stresses that in the practice of Learner-Centered teaching, we should "use" content to promote learning and not to focus too much on "covering" it. In Teacher-Centered instruction, the focus of teachers is always on covering all the topics which results to competing with time and compromising the learning experience of the students.Which leads us back to the question, how then do we know what the students should learn?

I'm going to go into the practice of using Grant Wiggin's Understanding by Design. In UbD, the whole idea is to start with the "desired results". At the end of your topic or unit or semester, what is your desired result? The guide question in UbD asks "What kinds of long-term independent accomplishments are desired?"

It begins with... Students will independently use their learning to....

This practice is helpful because you're able to think of a standard that students should be able to do and it should be long-term. The "big" picture. What do you want students to be able to do? This gives purpose in what you are doing. It's like a Mission-Vision thing. Remember the saying "Vision without mission is merely a dream, mission without vision just passes the time. Vision with mission can change the world"

Your desired result is your vision. If you don't have a vision... then your just "passing the time".

So when you already have a desired result... you go down to asking, "In order to achieve the desired result, what should they understand?

Students will understand that...

As well as thinking, "In order to achieve the desired result, what essential question should be always raised?"

Students will keep considering...(in question format).


And then, we go into identifying "What knowledge and skills do students need to have in order to achieve the desired results?"

Students will know...
Students will be skilled at...

When you have identified all these... it will be easier for you to think of "learning activities & learning assessments" - and there you would incorporate the various teaching and instructional and assessment practices. Hopefully, your practices aren't teacher-centered because remember Weimer's advice... Use content to promote learning, not cover it. Your learning activities and assessments should be aligned with what you have identified above. What should students know? What skills should they develop? That is the whole point of identifying those things, to serve as a guide.

I guess.. to give a short answer from Dave's question "How do you know what students to need to learn?" - You first think of what your desired result is. Your vision, so that you're not just "passing the time".

Do they all need to learn the same things?

I think the key word here is "need". Well, no, they don't need to know the same things but I guess they all need to know the basics. The things you have identified under "knowledge & skills". Some will definitely learn more than others. As long as they all achieve the desired results, then I think you've achieved success - you have achieved your vision. 

So again, it all boils down to your "desired results". 

What is your vision?

Kinda like a lot about life huh? It all starts with a dream.

***updated: A comment in Rhizo14 facebook group mentioned something about the common core standards, in Understanding By Design, it actually starts with "unpacking" the standards... I just didn't discuss it here because I was thinking of learning as a whole (not restricting myself with formal education) - like seminars maybe, or MOOCs :) ***

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On a personal note: This is so crazy. I'm collaborating with PhDs and professors from other parts of the world. And here I am, an overstaying M.A. student who just overcame the "quarter-life" career crisis. They are out of my league. But I feel like I have tons of mentors where I can learn from.

I do have a habit of extending myself and reaching out to people. I have this inner drive thinking I can do more than what is expected. I remember during my undergraduate year (2006), for our first research course I contacted a guy who worked on test anxiety and he mailed me stuff via postmail! manuscripts and even a copy of his instrument (for freeeee). He was Charles D. Spielberger. I was so delighted as an 18 year old having contact a busy person from abroad and was helping me out, a mere undergrad. I wasn't publishing or anything, we were just going to do a simple research as partial completion of our course subject. Hmmm... I should definitely try contacting him again, last time I talked to him I told him I was taking masters. lol I should probably tell him "well... I'm still taking it" ha. But he was one of those key people in my undergraduate experience that made me more enthusiastic about educational research. - ohh maybe Dr. Spielberger has twitter :)))

And now, I've finally found what my key interest is and it basically falls under online learning (or e-learning, still need to decide on that). And I'm finding more and more people to draw inspiration from. Mr. Dave (and his wife, Ms. Bonnie) to begin with. I kinda figured out in the long run that they were a couple. And I think I find it cute because they both share the same interest. It's always nice that you have somebody to talk to that can relate with what you're talking about. Sometimes, when I'm with my friends.. I think if they were honest enough they would tell me "Toni, stop talking about your research and your MOOCs because we have no idea what you are talking about and we also don't give a damn." Well, I think that's what they are thinking. So as a result, I try not to talk to them so often. Don't wanna bore them to death. :D

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*RHIZO14 is the hashtag for the "Rhizomatic Learning" MOOC provided by Dave Cormier via P2PU (Peer 2 Peer University) 

Related Post Re: examinations see previous post on Cheating is a Skill: Redefining Cheating & Thoughts on Learner-Centered Assessment =)

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***updated: OMG!!!!!!!! I typed Charles Spielberger on twitter in hoping to reconnect with him and turns out he died LAST YEAR June 12, 2013 (see link) I feel so sad!!!!!!! And I wasn't even able to update him to tell him the "good" news that I'm almost... finishing my masters... (Though he'll probably say, What took you so long, dear?)

BUT THIS IS SUCH. sad sad sad news :( 

R.I.P Dr. Charles D. Spielberger.. Thank you for mailing me a free copy of your Test Anxiety instrument which gave birth to my love and enthusiasm with educational psychology research. 

Sebastian Thrun DLD Conference speech January 2012

All along I've been reading about MOOCs and I always come across articles quoting Sebastian Thrun's conference and announcing giving up tenure to focus on a new life project.

Even though to date he has given up on his initial mission, I decided to look for the video of the conference and watch it myself.

His speech made me think I guess I've chosen the right path now. This is my passion. The education industry is where I belong. Only a few of my friends and I have common interests now, but it doesn't matter. I'm officially calling myself an academic (or aspiring to be one). I love what I'm doing and my involvement in global matters in education. I have a long way to go but I know I've found my place.

"I started to realize we are setting our students not for success but for failure" - Thrun

Foundations of Learning & Teaching: Being A Teacher

Some of the resources I learned from MOOC "Foundations of Learning & Teaching: Being A Teacher"

Teacher Tools - Questioning Technique

Peer Observation of Teaching

"Find a critical friend"

Top Reasons to be A Teacher

The complexities of Transactions

He who dares teach must never stop learning.

I am already on Module 2 of the 8-Module Series of MOOCs provided by Commonwealth Education Trust.

The 8 Modules are composed of the following:

Foundations of Teaching for Learning 1: Introduction
Foundations of Teaching for Learning 2: Being a Teacher

Foundations of Teaching for Learning 3: Learners and Learning

Foundations of Teaching for Learning 4: Curriculum

Foundations of Teaching for Learning 5: Planning for Teaching and Learning

Foundations of Teaching for Learning 6: Introduction to Student Assessment

Foundations of Teaching for Learning 7: Being a Professional

Foundations of Teaching for Learning 8: Developing Relationships

I am determined to finish the whole 8-Module Package and hoping it hits many birds at the same time.

My Thesis. My Masters. My Comprehensive Exam. My Profession. and Personal Development.

Module 8 will actually begin on November 2014 (Taking it more than a year to finish all 8 modules!)

So what does it say about MOOCs?

With this said, it surely means one thing...

I will be very busy.

Recently, I haven't had the time to read scholarly journals about MOOCs

Oh no.. my thesis!!!!!! Must.Graduate.Already.

Changing the way we teach.

Sir Ken Robinson: Do Schools Kill Creativity?

Changing the paradigm of Education.