Lord, I consult to you my hopes and dreams.

"Then he said to them, “Why are you troubled? And why do questions arise in your hearts? Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself.” (Luke 24: 38 ).

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but what is still possible for you to do." 

Daily Bible Verse from: http://seekfirst.blogspot.com/2018/04/4-15.html

I want to contemplate on the reflection of the daily bible verse and chop it down line by line. This afternoon has been a stressful one for me because of the tedious and daunting process of renewing my Philippine Psychometrician license. I know that a lot of professionals has been complaining about the new process that the government has implemented when it comes to renewing the professional licenses. But there's really nothing that we can do but accept that this is how it goes in the Philippines. Time and Money is being wasted but there's really nothing that we can do but comply. 

If I frustrate myself and stress myself out, then the only person who is losing in this situation is ME. Thus, I want to seek the help of the Lord to help me deal with the stress. 

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams." - I consult my hopes and dreams with the Lord. My hopes and dreams to continue to be a licensed psychometrician and hope that one day I will thank myself for taking the board exam and continuing to renew my license. I am not practicing the profession of the psychometrician but I am hoping that one day maybe this will come helpful and handy. I consult my dreams to the Lord that my career will prosper furthermore. I also consult with the Lord my dreams that maybe one day renewing my license won't be so much of a big deal because maybe one day I will have new personal goals of maybe settling down and focusing on sharing a different life goal with my future partner.

"Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential." - I have been frustrating myself this morning because I missed the opportunity of renewing my license last week when I was in PRC with my mom. I dwelled for it while I was preparing my documents today and realized that I was getting stressed out. I had to stop what I was doing and lay down in bed to analyze the situation. I should not focus on the past and my frustrations. I am only wasting my time dwelling on my frustrations and missing out on working on my unfulfilled potential. But what is my unfulfilled potential? Maybe I should focus more on the event that I am organizing for my work. 

"Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but what is still possible for you to do." - I should stop blaming myself of what I have failed to do last week and focus on maximizing my Sunday. I need to reflect on my homework for my Life in the Spirit Seminar. There is so much more I need to do to work on my personal development and strengthening my faith with the Lord. 

I also need to finish reading my books and studying my Spanish. There's actually a lot of things I need to do. I guess I am a busy person myself and maybe I am getting back on the track now I am realizing that there are a lot of things I should be doing by myself. 

I should also read more about practicing MINDFULNESS.

Take a step back and be mindful of the situation. Why am I feeling the way that I am feeling?
Identify the things that I can control and cannot control.

Things I can control: Prepare my documents, Photocopy my documents, Make an appointment, Pay for the appointment, go to PRC.

Things I cannot control: The number of CPD points that will be assessed based on my professional accomplishments the past 3 years.

Other things I should be doing: 
Organize the Culminating Activity at work.
1) mechanics for the centerpiece, 2) event venue, & 3) performance 

Evaluation report for Davao and Paranaque Schools.
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Part of the daily bible verse mentioned that if I keep a journal, I have to recognize the different experiences I have had in life. My journal (i.e. my blog) will help me observe how God has been faithful to me over the years. My journal is showing me me the various blessings that God has provided me throughout the years.

God, I thank you for giving me the wisdom and strength for me to pass the psychometrician board exam last 2015. I am now going to extend my patience in renewing this license. I do not want to take your blessings for granted. I am grateful for the blessing of passing the board exam. 

Harana Para Kay Lolo’t Lola

Dear God,

Thank you for gracing me with my new faith family. I have been so blessed to be able to spend time with people who are journeying with me in this experience of renewed faith. I know that our class was curated for a reason and there is always a reason why we are crossing each other’s paths in this journey. I also know that it took some time for me to “warm up” with these people because I initially did not expect that I would still be keeping in touch with these people, after our retreat.

But for some reason or another, I am constantly spending time with my new brothers and sisters in Christ. And I actually enjoy and want to spend time with these new friends I have made. It’s really a blessing for me to be part of this community because I am exposed to different types of people and personalities of which I am able to push myself outside the comfort zone. It is an opportunity for me to grow and become a better person.

I am still scared and broken.

But knowing that I am not alone in my battles and in my prayer intentions, gives me a relief.

I know that we are being blessed, everyday.

Thank you.

With much love,

Toni

Yesterday’s Outreach Activity was Harana Para Kay Lolo’t Lola.

We spent our Saturday morning visiting the home for the aged and I got to talk to some of them. I remembered my Lolo and Lola through them and wished that I was able to spend more quality conversations with my grandparents when they were still alive.

*picture*

In my weakness, your strength is perfected.

On March 6, 2018, I sank into deep depression and anxiety for reasons I will no longer disclose in my blog. Whatever those reasons are, I was trapped into a cycle of self-blame. Blaming myself for all the mistakes I have done. Regretting the things I have said. Feeling bad about what could have been and what if's. 

But for some reason or another, I ended up signing myself to a retreat that unknowingly would change my life. It was there that I realized that maybe the series of events that have happened in the past weeks had actually led me to attend this particular retreat where I met wonderful people that would add a positive contribution to my support system and circle of friends in life and in Christ. 

The retreat was more than just a retreat but I have created myself a community where I can feel at home and pray to God at the same time. I am strengthening my faith in him and submitting all my worries to God. For He alone knows that plans that He has made for me. 

Thank you Lord, for such a wonderful and life changing experience. 

Thank you for my new family.