March 2019 (Silent Retreat)

After Sponsoring the SE27 Weekend, I went on a Silent Retreat.

It really pushed me outside the comfort zone and God tested me in so many ways that weekend.

Quality over Quantity.
My church friends gave me their retreat letters <3 

From my best friend. She's the Jane to my Daria.

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

We took the weekend off to cut ourselves from the world and appreciate God's beautiful creation. 

March 2019 (SE27 Weekend)

It's been a year since I joined the Singles Encounter and I remember how I was in a very dark place before that. I found myself in a church community that helped me find the light in the dark. Now it was our turn to pay it forward and invite people to encounter God in their lives as well. I invited my friends and I am very happy that they are now part of the church community that I am in.

Prayer Leaders for Vigil night on Valentines Day.

SE26 Sponsoring Class

My friends who are now part of SE27 as shepherd and lambs

I am getting there! Praise God for changing me little by little every day. 

Christmas 2018

Thank you, Lord, for 2018. 

I DARE YOU: Embrace Life with Passion by Joyce Meyer

This book has really sparked the dying passion in me. I used to really be passionate and goal-oriented when it comes to chasing my dreams. But, ever since I lost my grandparents a year ago, I have never expected the impact of losing them would make in my life. For the past year I have completely stopped chasing anything.

I used to always read about passion. How prestigious leaders tell you to pursue your passion. How self-help and career books tell about pursuing your passion so you won’t have to work every day in your life. However, this book by Joyce Meyers tells a different kind of perspective when it comes to embracing your life with passion. It incorporates the role of God in our lives.

WHAT DOES GOD WANT ME TO DO?

 As I have mentioned, I have stopped chasing anything for the past 12 months. I have literally gone tired of rejections and tired of things not going the way as I would have wanted and imagined it to be. That was the time I got really really tired of making any plans in my life. Everything was just a disappointment and contributed to my anxiety, depression and life frustrations. So what’s the point of planning? The only plan I generally make for the past year is what I was going to do 2-3 days from now.

But thanks to Joyce Meyer, she had reminded me to include God in the process of making plans in my life. It’s about time that I listen to what God really wants to say. That maybe, my previous plans never really pushed through because it isn’t what God wanted me to do. I have to learn to surrender and remind myself that it’s always His will thy will be done.

“We need to be able to celebrate each day of our lives no matter the circumstances.” - This is what Joyce Meyer tells us.

CELEBRATE EACH DAY because we are here to enjoy God and to do his will.

God has a plan and it is different from each of us. So for us to know if we are on the right track of doing His will we should learn to pray before making plans and NOT plan first and then pray that God will fulfill everything according to OUR plan. That’s not how things work. And if we keep on insisting on pushing through with our own plan, He will just keep on correcting it because HIS PLAN is always BETTER than ours.

Though it doesn’t mean we have to stop chasing our dreams. We just need to acknowledge the role of God while we chase our dreams - involve God every step of the way.

“We often get caught up in trying to work out the meaning of things and never quite accepted the fact that trusting God means we will always have unanswered questions.”

I think this is what happened to me when I came back home last year from Canada. I thought of it as God telling me to stay in the Philippines and keeping me from planning anything that involves going out of the country. But looking forward to traveling and going on a hiatus has always been my motivation in anything I plan for the long term. And not planning anything long term feels like a dead end to me. What should motivate me now? On another note, I was able to do a lot of things here in the Philippines and take on commitments since I don’t have “anything better to do” anymore.

Joyce Meyer’s motto “Ask God for anything what you want, but be content with what He gives you.”

Joyce Meyer tells us that we need to trust that God’s choice is always the best and that we won‘t always understand everything that God does. It’s like a relationship between a toddler and a parent. A toddler doesn’t understand everything that the parent does and there will be times where the parent cannot explain to their toddler why they need to do things that they do. The toddler just learns to trust the parent.

Trust that His plans are always the best. God will turn your pain into gain and your mess into a miracle.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11-13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Lord, I consult to you my hopes and dreams.

"Then he said to them, “Why are you troubled? And why do questions arise in your hearts? Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself.” (Luke 24: 38 ).

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but what is still possible for you to do." 

Daily Bible Verse from: http://seekfirst.blogspot.com/2018/04/4-15.html

I want to contemplate on the reflection of the daily bible verse and chop it down line by line. This afternoon has been a stressful one for me because of the tedious and daunting process of renewing my Philippine Psychometrician license. I know that a lot of professionals has been complaining about the new process that the government has implemented when it comes to renewing the professional licenses. But there's really nothing that we can do but accept that this is how it goes in the Philippines. Time and Money is being wasted but there's really nothing that we can do but comply. 

If I frustrate myself and stress myself out, then the only person who is losing in this situation is ME. Thus, I want to seek the help of the Lord to help me deal with the stress. 

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams." - I consult my hopes and dreams with the Lord. My hopes and dreams to continue to be a licensed psychometrician and hope that one day I will thank myself for taking the board exam and continuing to renew my license. I am not practicing the profession of the psychometrician but I am hoping that one day maybe this will come helpful and handy. I consult my dreams to the Lord that my career will prosper furthermore. I also consult with the Lord my dreams that maybe one day renewing my license won't be so much of a big deal because maybe one day I will have new personal goals of maybe settling down and focusing on sharing a different life goal with my future partner.

"Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential." - I have been frustrating myself this morning because I missed the opportunity of renewing my license last week when I was in PRC with my mom. I dwelled for it while I was preparing my documents today and realized that I was getting stressed out. I had to stop what I was doing and lay down in bed to analyze the situation. I should not focus on the past and my frustrations. I am only wasting my time dwelling on my frustrations and missing out on working on my unfulfilled potential. But what is my unfulfilled potential? Maybe I should focus more on the event that I am organizing for my work. 

"Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but what is still possible for you to do." - I should stop blaming myself of what I have failed to do last week and focus on maximizing my Sunday. I need to reflect on my homework for my Life in the Spirit Seminar. There is so much more I need to do to work on my personal development and strengthening my faith with the Lord. 

I also need to finish reading my books and studying my Spanish. There's actually a lot of things I need to do. I guess I am a busy person myself and maybe I am getting back on the track now I am realizing that there are a lot of things I should be doing by myself. 

I should also read more about practicing MINDFULNESS.

Take a step back and be mindful of the situation. Why am I feeling the way that I am feeling?
Identify the things that I can control and cannot control.

Things I can control: Prepare my documents, Photocopy my documents, Make an appointment, Pay for the appointment, go to PRC.

Things I cannot control: The number of CPD points that will be assessed based on my professional accomplishments the past 3 years.

Other things I should be doing: 
Organize the Culminating Activity at work.
1) mechanics for the centerpiece, 2) event venue, & 3) performance 

Evaluation report for Davao and Paranaque Schools.
---------------------------------------------------------------

Part of the daily bible verse mentioned that if I keep a journal, I have to recognize the different experiences I have had in life. My journal (i.e. my blog) will help me observe how God has been faithful to me over the years. My journal is showing me me the various blessings that God has provided me throughout the years.

God, I thank you for giving me the wisdom and strength for me to pass the psychometrician board exam last 2015. I am now going to extend my patience in renewing this license. I do not want to take your blessings for granted. I am grateful for the blessing of passing the board exam. 

Harana Para Kay Lolo’t Lola

Dear God,

Thank you for gracing me with my new faith family. I have been so blessed to be able to spend time with people who are journeying with me in this experience of renewed faith. I know that our class was curated for a reason and there is always a reason why we are crossing each other’s paths in this journey. I also know that it took some time for me to “warm up” with these people because I initially did not expect that I would still be keeping in touch with these people, after our retreat.

But for some reason or another, I am constantly spending time with my new brothers and sisters in Christ. And I actually enjoy and want to spend time with these new friends I have made. It’s really a blessing for me to be part of this community because I am exposed to different types of people and personalities of which I am able to push myself outside the comfort zone. It is an opportunity for me to grow and become a better person.

I am still scared and broken.

But knowing that I am not alone in my battles and in my prayer intentions, gives me a relief.

I know that we are being blessed, everyday.

Thank you.

With much love,

Toni

Yesterday’s Outreach Activity was Harana Para Kay Lolo’t Lola.

We spent our Saturday morning visiting the home for the aged and I got to talk to some of them. I remembered my Lolo and Lola through them and wished that I was able to spend more quality conversations with my grandparents when they were still alive.

*picture*

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Dear God,

I am writing this letter because I would like to apologize for doubting you this morning. I have started to question your plans and questioning if all my prayers were worth praying for. Unbeknownst to me that you were actually working on something that I did not notice the first time. Faith was working and I was not aware.

You were working with the Holy Spirit through a former classmate and I can’t believe that I wasn’t noticing your work, not until this former classmate started sharing a personal battle that this classmate had recently or is currently going through. At first I was wondering why I am crossing paths with this former classmate again? What does this classmate need from me? ... My classmate needed nothing from me but my classmate did say “Wait, I need to call you. You need to hear this”.

Apparently I WAS the one who needed something from this former classmate. I needed to hear the story that my former classmate had to say. It was a reminder how people can both share an experience that you are going through or also share an experience that they don’t want you to go through.

God was at work. At the same day that I was already turning to be skeptic about all the trust and the praying. But truly, God works in mysterious ways. He is there when we need him the most. He knows what he is doing.

Continue to guide me in this trying times, O Lord.

I’ve been praying for you to show me what I was looking for and to lead me the way.

Your child,
Toni

Who Sits At Your Table? #GoodFriday2018

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

"He takes in sinners and eats meals with them, treating them like old friends." Luke 15:2

Who sits at your table?

In my weakness, your strength is perfected.

On March 6, 2018, I sank into deep depression and anxiety for reasons I will no longer disclose in my blog. Whatever those reasons are, I was trapped into a cycle of self-blame. Blaming myself for all the mistakes I have done. Regretting the things I have said. Feeling bad about what could have been and what if's. 

But for some reason or another, I ended up signing myself to a retreat that unknowingly would change my life. It was there that I realized that maybe the series of events that have happened in the past weeks had actually led me to attend this particular retreat where I met wonderful people that would add a positive contribution to my support system and circle of friends in life and in Christ. 

The retreat was more than just a retreat but I have created myself a community where I can feel at home and pray to God at the same time. I am strengthening my faith in him and submitting all my worries to God. For He alone knows that plans that He has made for me. 

Thank you Lord, for such a wonderful and life changing experience. 

Thank you for my new family.