Why are there so many emotionally immature parents?

Excerpts taken from Chapter 2 of "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents"

Why are there so many emotionally immature parents?

"It seems that many [emotionally immature parents] never had a supportive or emotionally intimate connection with their own parents, so they developed tough defenses to survive their own emotional loneliness early in life."

"Old-school parenting was very much about children being seen but not heard."

"Parenting tended to focus on obedience as the gold standard of children's development, rather than thinking about supporting children's emotional security and individuality."

Effects of old-school parenting are passed down to children who become adults and parents of their own.

"We didn't give a damn about your feelings; we just kept a roof over your heads."

"Emotionally immature parents were once children themselves, and as children they may have had to shut down many of their deepest feelings in order to be acceptable to their own parents."

"Their personalities are like stunted bonsai trees, trained to grow in unnatural shapes. Because they had to bend to fit their families, they were unable to develop fluidly into the integrated, natural people they might have become."

Differences in Quality of Thought

"There are often intellectual difference between emotionally mature and immature people."

"If your parents grew up in a family atmosphere that was full of anxiety and judgment, they may have learned to think narrowly and resist complexity."

"Excessive childhood anxiety leads not only to emotional immaturity but also to oversimplified thinking that cannot hold opposing ideas in mind."

"Emotionally immaturity is a real phenomenon that has been studied and written about for a long time. It undermines people's ability to deal with stress and to be emotionally intimate with others."

"Emotionally immature people have an oversimplified approach to life, narrowing situations down to fit their rigid coping skills."

"Having such limited sense of self makes them egocentric and undermines their ability to be sensitive to other's people's needs and feelings."

"Their reactive emotions, lack of objectivity, and fear of emotional intimacy can make close relationships difficult, especially when it comes to their children."