A new job, more teas and a musical.

For the past weeks or so, I have spent most of my time mussing over the fact that I am turning 30 soon. I flaked out on meeting my friends. I've cancelled plans. I barely wanted to socialize with anybody.

I was entering a decade that was all about settling and I had a lot of destructive thoughts lingering in my head with so many questions about how my life turned out to be, how it would turn out to be and especially questions if this is how my life will be for as long as I live. It was a depressive plus grieving stage but, I'm happy to say I think I've gotten over it. I could only allow myself to be at the nothingness stage for so long.

I have now found new purposes in my life to look forward to. 

I purchased tickets to the Lion King musical after debating with myself whether or not if I would purchase it. For one, I've been waiting so long for this musical to arrive the Philippines. However, the tickets are so expensive and I would only want the really really really good seats if I ever do decide to watch this broadway award winning musical. Another thing is that I don't want to watch it alone, of course. But none of my friends seem to be showing any interest or eagerness to spend that much money. So I bought tickets today at the premium seats and I got one for my sister and another one for myself. The ticket prices are really steep but then I also realized that if I were on "vacation", I would have actually purchased the same amount as well. I also panicked a little bit when I recognized that the good seats are slowly being taken. So there. Booked. Front Row, Premium Seats. 

Lesson Learned: If you know that you really really really want something and you know you'd spend your life thinking of "What if you bought it", then don't doubt yourself and just make that purchase. You'll feel better afterwards.

Otherwise, if you know you only half-want something and you're not sure if you really want it then don't buy it. Wait for a day to decide and then come back for it if you know you want it. (Case example: Gym membership XD)

Another thing I will be looking forward to is my DavidSTea purchase. When I was in Canada I practically spent over $200 coming back and forth and buying DavidSTeas. Some were good buys, some were not so good buys (chocolate and candy mints). But this time, I know I'll stick to the tea leaves. 

A friend is going to Canada and I'm ordering the teas online for him to bring back home to me. I am going to spend a steep amount of money for teas (again) because I wanted to qualify for the free shipping. Shipping fee costs more than 50grams of tea so might as well just buy more tea. I love DavidSTea. 

My last news is that I made a new commitment. I have a new job apart from my current full-time job as a curriculum writer. I am going back to teaching. I am going back to tutoring former students of mine as a homeschool teacher. Sometimes I wonder if I devalue myself when it comes to professional fees. It's hard to give a price for your service and at the same time you are not sure if your clients can afford it. You also don't want to feel that you are taken advantaged of. But I guess this is also part of learning.

I took this extra job as means of additional socialization and for me to be able to exercise my teaching skills since my office job focuses on the curriculum development part rather than first hand implementation. 

I am looking forward to this new endeavor. It's a new purpose for me to wake up everyday. Although I am still not sure if I was able to give a good rate of my professional value but I will charge this to experience. I am sure that at the end of it all I would gain something out of this interaction.

In the end. I am happy that I have awoken from the nothingness.

I am now ready to face life in the 3rd decade with a new perspective and less fear.