Que Sera sera

When I was just a little girl, I asked my father, "What will I be?"

He said, "Que sera sera. The future is not ours to see. What will be will be."

And that couldn't be any true right now.

I'm a psychology major and I've always had this inclination of just observing people and scenarios and predicting patterns. My friends always say that I act like I'm always correct but at the end when things go wrong, they just realize that I was harsh but I was right. These are times I hate that I was right.

I'm not a fortune teller but it's just human behavior. If you step back and look at the bigger picture, regardless of culture or time or age, there will always be a pattern.

I'm a risk taker but at the same time I like warping into the future. Maybe calculated risks? I'm not sure if it's even calculated. But I like the sense of security.

Recently, there were good things that came my way and it makes me happy. But I just don't know what it means. Is this a temporary happiness or a part of something vital that is connected to the future? I just can't help but imagine the best of it. But at the same time I know I'll be keeping things realistic & just hopeful.

My friend told me "It's not a particularly convenient situation to be in."

I know. I haven't felt this before since highschool and the moment I was waiting for the results of the Psychometrician board exam. I always was either sure I'm going to pass and if I knew I was going to fail, I wouldn't risk myself anyway or prepared myself for the failure.

True. I am in an uncomfortable situation right now. But I guess I will just shake this off and try to focus on things that I can control, like my thesis revisions that I have been avoiding for a week now.

Curses!!!!!!!

For the rest of it... I will just close my eyes. Hope for the best. Use it as an inspiration. Write it down in my journal. And pray to God that all things fall into it's place. At the right time.