Que Sera sera

When I was just a little girl, I asked my father, "What will I be?"

He said, "Que sera sera. The future is not ours to see. What will be will be."

And that couldn't be any true right now.

I'm a psychology major and I've always had this inclination of just observing people and scenarios and predicting patterns. My friends always say that I act like I'm always correct but at the end when things go wrong, they just realize that I was harsh but I was right. These are times I hate that I was right.

I'm not a fortune teller but it's just human behavior. If you step back and look at the bigger picture, regardless of culture or time or age, there will always be a pattern.

I'm a risk taker but at the same time I like warping into the future. Maybe calculated risks? I'm not sure if it's even calculated. But I like the sense of security.

Recently, there were good things that came my way and it makes me happy. But I just don't know what it means. Is this a temporary happiness or a part of something vital that is connected to the future? I just can't help but imagine the best of it. But at the same time I know I'll be keeping things realistic & just hopeful.

My friend told me "It's not a particularly convenient situation to be in."

I know. I haven't felt this before since highschool and the moment I was waiting for the results of the Psychometrician board exam. I always was either sure I'm going to pass and if I knew I was going to fail, I wouldn't risk myself anyway or prepared myself for the failure.

True. I am in an uncomfortable situation right now. But I guess I will just shake this off and try to focus on things that I can control, like my thesis revisions that I have been avoiding for a week now.

Curses!!!!!!!

For the rest of it... I will just close my eyes. Hope for the best. Use it as an inspiration. Write it down in my journal. And pray to God that all things fall into it's place. At the right time.

Spanish notes. Spanish everyday.

I still have a long way to go to become a Spanish speaker. The gap between being an amateur to a fluent speaker still frustrates me, but I know I barely had a month since I started so I have to give myself some slack.

Qué quiere hacer hoy? What do you want to do today?

Quiero ir a ver una pelikula. I want to go see a movie.

Cuándo irá el estudiante a la oficina Del maestro? When will the student go to the teacher's office?

I'm doing lots of things to practice my Spanish. Listening to Spanish songs and reading it's translation and trying to memorize it. Listening to dialogues and reading its translation and trying to memorize it. Not missing a streak in Duolingo to practice my vocabulary knowledge. Listening to tutorial videos. But I'm lacking in speech practices which is why I feel like my tongue is tied. What's the use of speaking in Spanish if I'm not vocally practicing it right? 

At the least if I keep practicing everyday, I'm hoping that I'll be able to develop my Spanish speaking skills, right? Let's see. I have my blog to document my progress.

Qué quiere hacer hoy? 

In Spanish the H is always silent. 

Qué quire hacer hoy? 

What do you want to do today?

Quiero ir a ver una pelikula.

I want to go see a movie.

Gaaaaaah >_< 

Must must must be patient. 

Spanish test and then some.

My day yesterday started very stressful. (Mi dia ayer comenzar muy estresado) lol .. okay I don't even know if I was able to write that in spanish right. I'll just stick to english first.

So I started my day yesterday very stressed, with school.. stuff at home... stuff at work... everything just seems to just not fall into it's place correctly. I was so stressed I felt like shouting just to release my rage. There were just too many things going on in my head and the tiniest thing annoys me. One of the things that caused me stress was the thought that I had to still work on my thesis even after submitting it. Revisions, revisions, revisions. I just don't get this cycle anymore! I already want to graduate! 

So anyway I told my bestfriend that I wanted to hang out with her so I took a cab and went to one of the coffee shops near her office and waited for her there. I was busy listening to TED Talks and reading the Spanish subtitles trying to enhance my new skill. 

When my bestfriend arrived the coffee shop we were there just talking and then I was trying to show her my Spanish materials and then I tried practicing my Spanish lessons. A few minutes later, this guy who sat a few chairs away faced us and asked "Are you trying to learn Spanish?". Of course we were both surprised because this stranger just started talking to us, and then my bestfriend pointed to me and then the guy approached us and then I started sharing my learning endeavor. Turns out the guy was from Spain. haha. I felt a little shy because he probably was annoyed of my crude Spanish phonetics and had to interrupt and teach me the right way. LOL kidding he's a nice guy. Turns out he knows 5 languages. My bestfriend wanted to learn French and turns out our new friend knows french too. and arabic.. and korean... 

Basically the night ended up discussing about languages, culture, the world, religion, politics, dating, life... It was a good night despite a bad morning. 

It was as if it as a moment that I had to test what I've learned for the past 2 weeks in my attempts to learn Spanish. 

It was also a good thing that I've been recently watching Crash Course on Youtube, World History Play list because I was able to related with a lot of the European related conversations. 

Our new friend was well read and well traveled. These are the people that I really enjoy talking to. I enjoy the mental stimulation.

The first time I ever met a new friend in a coffee shop. It was a very very interesting moment and definitely a better place to meet new friends as compared to hostels and bars. 

I never made a mistake on investing my time learning a new language. I knew that it would really open an opportunity to meeting more people and being able to engage with them more. 

All is well that ends well! 

Ted Talks and Learning Spanish

My graduate school friend (who was also a Spanish Professor) reminded me that I can listen to Ted Talks in Spanish. I suddenly remember that it has been a long time since I watched TED Talks and it would also be helpful for me to listen to Spanish TED Talks and at the same time learn a new idea.

Unfortunately the Spanish language feature in the TED Talk site only meant that the text would be converted to Spanish but the speakers weren't really talking in Español, at all! LOL But it did have Spanish subtitles so I ended up just listening to the talks in English and then reading the transcript.

It still contributes to my learning of a new language. I've been very good in reading in Español already. Okay maybe not VERY good, but in my own standard, I can recognize words comfortably already! I just need to get use to the conjugations and the forms of the verbs (past, present, future tenses). Grammar is such so hard.

But anyway, it does give me also an opportunity to discover and listen to new TED Talks :)

Below are my newest TED faves. .

El ingrediente mágico que da vida a las películas de Pixar

El secreto de una gran charla TED

La guía nerd para aprender de todo en línea

Cómo mantener la calma cuando se sabe que se va a estar estresado

10 reglas para conversar mejor

This one is not a TED Talk but a great reminder to 

focus on the good things that are happening in your life.

 

Learn to Focus on the Right Things
"Srikumar Rao, author of Happiness at Work, says to look with appreciation on the things you do have, and to assess what you really need in life."

So many great talks! I need to listen to them again plus read the transcript in Spanish so that I'll be hitting two birds in one stone: Keeping in mind their beautiful and inspiring tips AND practice myself in getting use to the Spanish language. I know I'm only getting better in reading rather in writing or speaking, but this is a great start. 

Graduate School #ThesisTuesdays

I always love Tuesdays because I get to hang out with my graduate school classmates.

Our discussions are always fruitful and mentally stimulating. <3

Stepping out of my comfort zone

Aside from learning español, I'm trying to develop my sales skills. I really have not much experience on sales talks aside from selling tutorial services and curriculum products, which are both in the lines of education. Of course I'm a master in the education industry and there's a lot to say about it that would help me sell our products and services.

But more money is in the sales, so I think it's about time to work on my hidden talents and hone that a bit. 

I'm going to start with phone calls. I applied for this freelance job that only requires me to call a bunch of leads and try to talk into them in availing of a certain service. 

I have no sales experience but I think coming from a humanities background it's all in the application of psychological practices. The psychology of persuasion, manipulation and influence. I think I can pretty much pull this off right?

A friend who is hooking me up for this gig asked me if I was "hungry to sell". I told her, "Well, I'm hungry for money.. That's enough motivation isn't it?". I don't wanna lie and pretend that I got this. I need to be transparent that I seriously have no idea how to do this but letting you know I'm so eager to learn and develop this skill. 

I have a lot of travel plans after I officially commence my life after graduate school. That's why I need a lot of mollah. So apart from honing my sales skills, I need the money to travel. It is my graduation gift for myself as I enjoy the freedom from the academe. 

But sales. I've long avoided that line of work. Most of the time the work that I venture into is either in writing or in teaching.

However, I am in psychology, aren't I? I have been using my "applied psychology" when meeting new people "i.e. Dale Carnegie books" ... I haven't fully mastered it but I'm on the right track right? 

My social skills, psychological background, motivation, drive and learning curve are all the basic advantage I need. 

Just give me this chance, please !!! :P

Clearing up my mind.

As of the moment I am printing my thesis manuscript for final approval of my panel.

My mentor already approved of my revisions and I will just need her to sign the approval sheet with the rest of the panel. Hopefully they don't request any changes. I'm using recycled paper to print my thesis. Trying to be environment friendly. 

But what bothers me right now is that how come my head still feels so heavy?

What is it that I still need to do? 

For work: I will just need to create the workbook for my project. I can do that tomorrow, Wednesday.

For Spanish classes: a few minutes of that today. Don't want to over load my head. 

For marketing media sales side line: I have an interview tomorrow. I have no idea why I tried venturing into this line of work but worth to try. 

I can't think of anything else I need to do for now. I think the reason I feel like I still need to do loads of things is because I have a head ache. Or is it because of the many things to do that causes my headache?? 

For thesis: I only have to go to school. Submit my hard copy of thesis. Submit the approval sheet. Wait for another week until I get my approval sheet. Then burn my thesis in 5 CD's and then wait for around August to apply for the October graduation. I just have to WAIT.

I think that's what causing me anxiety. I always want to finish things, right now. Right now. Do it. But I also have to learn to wait. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. Push it aside. There's nothing I can do. The term just started and the application to graduate is not yet until months from now. 

For my prof org: ahhhh of course. The conference. This is the thing that I should be preparing myself next.

1) My presentation of the Quantitative Phase of my Thesis (create abstract and submit) 

2) Researching on online and computerized assessments. 

Well that's about it I guess. 

Ugh my head. I'm dizzy. 

To end this post: 

Thesis Sent

Phew.

Finally.

I've e-mailed my revisions to my mentor.

The waiting game begins. I hope my mentor already approves of my changes so I can just collect the signature I need from the panel and wait for the application to graduate and then graduate.

NO MORE REVISIONS PLEASE.

In the mean time, I need to gather my thoughts what to do while waiting for my thesis to be reviewed

1) Watch Arrow Season 4
2) Create Abstract for my Thesis (Quantitative Only) - and submit for PEMEA's conference
3) Start Researching about Online and Computerized Assessment and create the standards

Today is June 2.

What upcoming events should I be preparing for?

hmmmm...

Just PEMEA actually... and then work stuff... I have those in One Note to remind me.

kk time to watch Oliver Queen!!