Book Worm

Book Worm
So many books to read, so little time.

Books to read in 2018

Books to read in 2018
So many books to read, so little time.

Sunday, August 26, 2018

University Teaching

I have been in the education industry since the beginning of my college life. But for some reason or another, I have not committed to any classroom teaching, although I have had a lot of experiences in handling students.

Lately, I have been reading Joyce Meyer's "I DARE YOU" and it talked about pursuing your dreams and chasing bigger dreams. It ended up daring me the one thing that I have been constantly avoiding and been secretly afraid of: the commitment to classroom teaching.

I want to teach (in a classroom) one day, and I haven't completely figured out what has been stopping me. The commitment that I can't spontaneously travel once I begin a school year or a school term? The fear of embarrassing myself? The fear of failure? The fear of rejection?

There is a new program in my university and it's Masters in Educational Technology.

This proposal has been announced since 2016 and I remember telling the college dean how I wish the program existed when I was starting with my masters. Educational Technology was my thing that I actually had a crazy idea of wanting to "enroll" in graduate school again and get another master's degree which was crazy because back then I was already finishing my current masters program.

The college dean planted an idea that why not teach in the program instead???


The question is: Why didn't I actually frame this in my bedroom to serve as a reminder that I want to teach EdTech students???

So that was 2 years ago and the graduate program just started recently and now I regret not taking the invite to teach the program, seriously. I want to. I would love to.

I guess it's not yet too late to express interest, am I right? I know I can do it, even the former OIC-president of the university encouraged me that I can teach in the program.


What encouragement do I still seek?

Or more importantly, who's validation am I trying to seek approval of?

I'm making this blog post because I'm trying to figure out where this fear is coming from. I want to know the source of this constant seeking of validation. WHOSE validation am I waiting for?

I have been delaying and delaying and delaying to become an actual fully pledged "teacher" and have a "class" I can call my own. I'm scared but deep inside I want it.

I'm starting to believe these are just devil's lies. The devil telling me that I am not good enough or that I don't deserve it or that I am not yet "ready". This is the devil trying to stop me to fulfill what God's purpose for my life is.

May this blogpost remind me of this day that I promise not to let rejection and failure stop me from keeping on chasing bigger things. It's been a year since I sank down in depression mourning for the simultaneous loss of my grandparents, a year of pacifying myself for the multiple rejections I've had trying to look for a bigger break, a year dealing with my pre-30 and post-30 crisis and eventually giving up on my ultimate desire for international experiences.

But a year is enough to waste on being stuck in a dead end. I must not settle. I must not allow myself to remain comfortable. I must constantly push myself of accomplishing bigger things, one after the other, despite multiple failures and rejection.

Because I'm only 30...

As my cousin said, we are still very young.



We just have to keep trying despite the many times we've been rejected.

God's denial doesn't always mean "NEVER".. it could also mean "NOT YET".




I will not be afraid because I know that the Lord is always with me.

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