My Thesis: Three Studies in one..

There are times when I want to bang my head on the wall. 

My thesis is composed basically of three studies.

One Pilot Testing the Instrument 

One for Quantitative Phase

One for Qualitative Phase

For merely a masteral thesis, this is indeed quite a... challenge.

One study could actually pass for a thesis already. Worst part is, I am not even aiming for a publication. I just want a masteral degree and soonest.

I don't want to publish my thesis. Maybe I need somebody to inspire me in publishing it. Publishing my thesis just reminds me of my undergraduate thesis. That a PHD student took my undergraduate proposal (3 years after I graduated undergrad) and he used it for his dissertation AND published it. I think realizing that my ideas are standardized higher than what is required of me is already enough for me to believe that I am really destined to do so much more. I am a big fish in a small pond. I need a bigger pond because this pond is no longer suitable for me. I would rather be a small fish in a much much bigger pond because it will give me more room to explore and the possibility of even growing bigger.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, graduate school is teaching me less about my program and more about life.

So just finish this, Toni.

You're nearing the finish line.

Finish this, then go on and do whatever it is next that you want to do in your life.

Let's do this!

Here's a screen shot of the Table of Contents of my thesis.

I'm finishing Chapter's 1 & 2.

I still have to add something on the RRL of one of my variables, specifically Parent's Educational Socialization (a nuisance variable, I'm telling you.)

But I'm guessing by tomorrow I'm done with these chapters.

So by tomorrow, I can also move on to working on mu chapter 3, results.

Yep, I'm doing it all over again. Chapter by chapter...

Let's do this, Toni!!

Major Revisions

I'm going to write a quick post before I eat lunch and then proceed working on my thesis.

I just want to put on record that apparently, I have been doing something wrong ALL ALONG.

And now I have to make tweaks and major revisions and I went on a panic mode because I was worried of having to defend all over again. But I am more confident now with my methodology.

A professor told me, "No research is perfect." and that now that I realized the flaws of my paper he said "Now, you have officially become a researcher". 

Oh graduate school, I entered the program thinking of learning more about the MALT program but as I near graduation, I am learning less about the program and more about LIFE. I think this is what we call: The Hidden Curriculum.

No regrets. I like how it turned out to be.

I got these papers from the University's chapel the other day. My fave is "When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." 

Lightbulb moment: Love your thesis.

💡 I'm going to stop hating academic research because hate is not doing any good. It clouds your judgement and consumes your life. Hate is never good. I'm going to love academic research. I love my thesis. Please don't get mad at me. Let's make this work. I'm sorry for hating you. #LoveYourThesis ❤️❤️❤️💖❤️❤️❤️ more hearts. ❤️💛💚💜💔❣💕💓💝💘💗❤️💛💚💜💝💘💗❤️💗💞💜💓💝❤️❤️💝💚❤️💝#Hope #Faith #Trust

Resistance is not going to take me anywhere. Acknowledging mistakes and embracing feedback should always be a key. 

I'm going to revise my thesis and find the flaws in my paper and explain the flaws. 

After this, I'm still going to give up on my academic career. I'm just really not fit for this kind of complexity in life. But I will finish my masters, as promised. I will face this head on and with my chin up. 

As long as I don't repeat my defense. Oh God, please don't. 

Anyway I don't think I won't. Research isn't always perfect. There will always be flaws. This is the trial and error of life. Full of realizations.

Being a perfectionist and having fear of failure is so hard sometimes because, whenever I feel that I'm wrong, it's so hard to accept it. I rationalize and find a way to make it right but only in the end to realize that accepting I made a mistake was the shortest route to avoid headaches after all. 

Finish this Toni, and then move on with your life. Leave the academe but not education. 

Peter Pan Generation

I pledge allegiance to Peter Pan and the Land of Never Never, 

to stay young in mind, in spirit, to grow old and grouchy never!

"While I am a fully paid up member of adult society in many ways — I pay taxes, cast my vote and give money to charity — in other ways, I am in hopeless denial about my age.

Though I had always assumed that, by now, I would have found the love of my life and settled down, by choice or by fate (I still don’t know which) that hasn’t happened."

"Our society is full of lost boys and girls hanging out at the edge of adulthood,’ says Professor Frank Furedi, a sociologist who has been studying this phenomenon, at the University of Kent."

Read the full article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2176281/Generation-refuse-grow-No-mortgage-No-marriage-No-children-No-career-plan-Like-30-somethings-Marianne-Power-admits-shes-.html#ixzz49n1Es7lp

Only time can tell...

I am definitely excited though to see what unfolds. Thank you, life!  

Yo Hablo Español Ahora :)

I just started learning Spanish this month and I'm so proud of my progress. 

Such a fast learner, yes I am. 

I just had to self acknowledge this because I know a lot of people here must have known this language before I did. 

But for a month as a newbie? .. And now I have a community of Spanish native speakers around the world talking to me and helping me with those damn conjunctions? I'm proud. ... 

I'm just not so proud about the progress of my thesis revisions. CURSES!!!!! 

#CurseThesisIHateYou

Blooper: to add to my learning progress, I think I just asked somebody how many buttholes he has! LOL

How can I forget using Ñ when that letter is an integral part of my family name?? 😂

Anos = butthole

Años = year

K.

noted.