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Monday, January 27, 2014

Don't you worry, don't you worry child. #RHIZO14

Rhizo14 Week 3 Topic: Embracing Uncertainty

"Up on the hill across the blue lake,
That's where I had my first heart break
I still remember how it all changed
My father said
Don't you worry, don't you worry child
See heaven's got a plan for you
Don't you worry, don't you worry now"

I'm a worrywart. Or so I used to be.

I'm an over thinker. As my friends would always tell me.

I think too much, they say.

"You need to relax", Oh I've heard it oh so many times.

I always response with "I know."

It's probably one of the reasons that I blog. I like to literally "transfer" my thoughts from my mind to paper. Sometimes, when my mind is so chaotic that I don't know what to do next... I write.. and I keep on writing.. letting the fingers type my thoughts away... and after putting it all on paper, I close my notebook (or my tablet) and let the thoughts stay there so I could go on with my day. It works for me. And when I'm on the right state of mind, I can look back on what I wrote and see it on a much saner perspective.

You can see in my blog's side bar, a photo. The Four Agreements. Reading the book changed my life. I have less worries now (can't say I've removed it all). But I'm happier. I am embracing uncertainty.

You can see in my About Me description (I just recently had the courage to fill that up), that I mentioned I was in a "quarter-life crisis" during my early 20's. This kind of crisis that I don't want to expound about right here in my academic blog (you can just google about it to know more what I'm saying).

But much of the quarter-life crisis revolves around uncertainties. Am I supposed to be where I currently am? Am I in the right career path? Where am I going to be years from now?  Is this what I really want to do? For the many years ever since I decided to take my masters program in learning and teaching, I was in limbo. What do I really want to do? I want education... I want to work in a school... but I don't want to teach... what will I teach?... I probably will teach eventually... I don't want to teach in a traditional sense... I don't know what to teach.. my major is educational psychology, unlike others who are more specialized with English, Math, Science, among others. All this "searching of self" so I stopped studying.

I came back to school when I figured out my life plan. It was carefully planned out with a timeline and all. Had estimated my year of graduation and planned out other things I will be doing in life. But early 2013 drastic changes in my personal life had happened. My plans in life had to change. And there I was back in a limbo again. The song "Don't you worry child" helped soothe me.

I kept telling myself, "Everything will fall into place".

I have a quote posted in my room "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

All through these years, I have been mastering embracing uncertainty. I should probably get a degree on that now.

Every time a person asks me what my future plans are, I tell them what I would like to do as of the moment and then also say, "but you know... plans change".

We have to be prepared for these changes.

I always tell my friends "the world is round".

This is a metaphor saying, that today you may be on top... but tomorrow, you may be at the bottom.

We have to prepare ourselves.

We need to equip ourselves with "survival skills" just in case things don't go on as the way we initially planned or expected. We have to learn to expect the unexpected.

My friends always say, I am a strong person.. that they can't believe I could handle such things and that I haven't broken down... that I am a tough cookie. But deep inside, they don't know that the warrior is a child.

I wasn't born to be a tough cookie... I earned it... or in better words, I learned it.

Shaped by my experiences. My biography. My life.

I learned to embrace uncertainty. More so, I welcome it with open arms.

It is in the unknown we discover things that we never would have thought about.

This is part 1 of my Week 3 MOOC Assignment for Rhizo14. I haven't really answered Dave's question about learning because I want to ponder first on what I think about the phrase "embracing uncertainty".

I am a fan of this practice as I have explained in my own personal experiences.

I will end this post with the song my dad always sang when I was a kid.

Que Sera Sera ( Whatever will be, will be)

When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother, "What will I be?
Will I be pretty?
Will I be rich?"
Here's what she said to me:

"Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be;
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera,
What will be, will be."

*RHIZO14 is the hashtag for the "Rhizomatic Learning" MOOC provided by Dave Cormier via P2PU (Peer 2 Peer University)


  1. awww, hi Toni. That's a very sweet post. One thing that I was thinking as I was reading it was does 'embracing uncertainty' also mean NOT taking control, not directing - or not trying to direct things? I think the notion of 'what will be, will be' possibly does imply that you're following some pre-determined path where you don't necessarily have any control over the outcome.

    I don't know that embracing uncertainty is necessarily the same as this - perhaps it's more like - as you say 'being prepared' - being prepared for plans not to go entirely according to plan, having the flexibility to adapt to change, and thrive - or maybe having the skill to achieve your outcome despite circumstances changing...

    1. It does kinda sound like I'm all leaving it to fate (or faith), huh?

      But yeah... by embracing uncertainty, I really do mean we have to be prepared for the unexpected changes. We need to equip ourselves with "survival" skills, just in case things don't go on as the way we've planned or expected it.

      Like they always say, expect the unexpected. It will help you survive the battle we call, life. (lol... not trying to be emo there, but surely you get what I mean ^_^)

    2. I added part of my comment ^^^ in my blog post.

      I realized I just sounded redundant because I copied a portion of my comment, and added it to my post :)) the part about survival skills

    3. Thanks Toni...I like the extra bit you added about learning the skills to survive. I do sometimes wonder about this too - in terms of predispositions. It sounds like you've already had a few battles but that you've come through them - possibly stronger, more prepared to face whatever challenges are ahead. Part of this is learning from the experience. But I wonder how much of it is also be cause you have an inbuilt predisposition to have the mental strength to withstand the challenges. It's the old nature v nurture debate (or perhaps more aptly nature + nurture?).So how much uncertainty can we 'embrace'? Presumably it's a learned skill...but perhaps some are capable of learning it more easily than others....

  2. Lovely Toni. I also write to sort out my thoughts, often just offline though, but I am getting more used to bashing out a quick post.

    My mum used to sing that song to me when I was little, I always thought it was "Que Sarah, Sarah"

    1. I used to have personal blogs :) though not anymore... So now I sometimes use the "notes" feature in my ipad... or I e-mail or text myself.. hehe .. I write anywhere as long as I am able to literally put my thoughts on paper so that I can "remove" it completely from my head. I just prefer typing because it's faster. My thoughts are always narrating too fast that if I hand written it, my hands won't be able to "transcribe" it verbatim:))

      Lol at the Que Sarah Sarah. hahaha Well, kids are egocentric ;)

  3. Hi Toni. Thanks for sharing this. I think the warrior has to be always a child. If not, he becomes bitter. Soft and warm inside, he becomes fluid.

    I commented further on your post here: