Monday, July 31, 2017

Oh, Canada 🇨🇦

Niagara Falls, Ontario

Canada is such a beautiful place. 

I promise to go back and maybe start a new life there. Wherever God will take me, I know God has made his plans. 

Canada 150 🇨🇦

Floral Clock, Ontario

Zipline to the Falls - Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada 

Good bye, my Grandfather.

I watched how the nurses alternately tried to resuscitate my grandfather. I never wanted my sister to put down the phone because I wanted to know what was happening, every single bit of the time. I wanted to see what the nurses would do. Will they continue to take turns in helping my grandfather beat his heart again? Not everybody knows that my grandfather is not my biological grandfather. But he treated me and my sister as his own, right from the start. He was the grandfather I knew. He loved us the same and I loved him equally as well. I watched the nurses revive him. 

Until they stopped... talked to each other.. And then asked my sister and relatives to go inside. I told my sister I want to hear every word. It was choppy, I didn't understand what the doctor/nurse was saying. But I was at peace knowing that I felt I was inside the room as well. 

I was in the other side of the world when everything happened. First my grandfather had a cardiac arrest, went into comatose, and then completely lost his heart beat.

I used to visit my grandparents in California, multiple times. I stayed there for half a year times two. I stopped my graduate school to go back to LA. I used to believe that if I didn't go to California then I would have graduated early. But I don't regret it. I was able to spend a lot of time with the folks and that was worth all the delays. 

I love you Lolo. Thanks for everything. I hope I meet a man who's heart is as big as yours. Your relationship with Lola is the ultimate relationship goal. You were so patient, kinds and generous. You always thought of other people first. I remember when you were in the hospital in California, you would call me and still ask me if Lola ate dinner already. You were the sick one and you still thought of Lola. 

Anybody who knew you is blessed to have known such a gentleman you are. I wish there were more men like you. Please guide us in heaven. I love you so much. 

It was such a crazy week this past week.
I booked a ticket to go home ASAP from Toronto because I wanted to mourn with my family. I did not want to be alone so far away. I wanted to be with my cousins. I want to see my grandfather before we buried him. I want to spend time with my family. 

I spent a huge amount of money going home too soon but every day that I wake up I thank myself for having made that decision. It hasn't fully sinked in that j am back home. Everything that happened the past month feels like it was only a dream. I wish the death of my grandfather was only a dream.

After the funeral, I didn't have enough time to grieve becuase I had to rush my grandmother to the hospital. I still had the jetlag but there was so many things happening that I couldn't really fully grieve, moreso even rest.

I am hoping that my grandmother still remains to be healthy and that she doesn't leave us too soon. But times like these you appreciate being with family more.

Life shall continue to happen. I woke up with a high fever probably due to the exhaustion. From the moment I landed in Manila, I didn't have enough time to really rest

Should I get back with life? Or should I allow myself to grieve? I'm not really sure anymore. I don't know where to get the strength of what is happening. I'm not sure if I'm completely ready to go back to work, either. 

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Lessons in Life

Next time I'm going to think of myself more. I need to be more selfish. Prioritize what's more important. Think of what's going to be better for me before anybody else.

Sometime you have to be selfish.

I sometimes make stupid decisions and I beat myself for it.

I try to convince myself that if opportunities are for you, they will come back.

But my impatient self just want to beat myself more becuase I could have had an opportunity an earlier time but I deliberately passed on it.

I need to prioritize my decision making.

Friday, July 7, 2017

My Two-Week Adventure in British Columbia and Alberta, Canada

Canada Day 150, July 1, 2017, Calgary Alberta
Sea to Sky Gondola, British Columbia

Canada Place, Vancouver, British Columbia

Drumheller, Alberta

Lake Louise, Alberta
Rogers Pass National Historic Site

Banff, Alberta

Columbia Icefield Glacier Adventure, Alberta

Jasper, Alberta

Lake Louise (again)
I had to upload another picture because this lake is just breathtaking!

Lake Moraine, Alberta

Canadian Badlands, Alberta

Mission Hills Estate Winery, Kelowna

At Vancouver airport, waiting for boarding ...

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Fete Dela Musique

Today I had lunch with my friends and went to Fete Dela Musique. 

Tiring day. I will miss my friends because I will not see them in another 2 months.

I'm going to CANADA/US again.

Finished packing my check-in.

So excited!

Monday, June 12, 2017

Leaving in 7 days..

The most awaited trip is finally arriving. I've been wanting to go to Canada since 2008, when I graduated from college.

As usual.. travelling alone gives me anxiety. Actually, it's the airport transfers. If only we can just teleport.

But I have to do this. I need to keep doing this. Because this is a way for me to shake it up and step out of my comfort zone.

Anxiety + Excitement. This is my mixed feelings.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Thoughts early in the morning.

My friends and I are going out of town for the day. I woke up at 2:30 am and went to my friend's house to meet up. It's now 4:30 am and I want to sleep but I cannot any more. So many thoughts running in my mind. I don't want them there.

Mis amigas y yo voy a fuera la ciudad.
Me despierto son las dos y media en la madrugada y voy a la casa de mi amiga para encontrarse. Ahorita son las cuatro y media y quiero sueño pero no puedo mas. Muchas cosas corren en el mente. No me gusto alla. 

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Academic Writing

I'm looking for Freelance writing jobs and if it's not SEO related articles, it's Academic work. 

Academic work? *raises hand* That's me! That's me! I can do that very well!

I've been "shortlisted" and offered to proceed to the next stage. I need to fill up this long application form, provide my government ID and even a picture of my diploma to give proof for my highest academic attainment.

When I came across the part of having to provide my diploma, it got me thinking two things: 1) oh! Good thing I have my masters diploma with me. 2) Do I really want to do this?

The reason that's stopping me right now despite the "easy" money, is because I perfectly know what this "academic writing" is all about. 

This isn't about sharing your knowledge. 

This is about doing the work of some lazy student out there who can afford to pay somebody else to do the work for him/her.

This is "academic writing" in literal translation "school work". 

I am an educator. 

I'm sure that prohibiting myself to join will not help in "taking down" this kind of  "business model". It's been there for ages and the reason that it is surviving is because a lot of people purchase these kind of services. And the reason why these services exist is because a lot of people are willing to offer their services for the money.

I am an educator. And out of principle, do I really want to constribute to this system?

Do I want my students to pay somebody else for the work? 

People might look at this as capitalism. The rich can afford it and the poor need it. Maybe it works for occupations. 

But school work ?!?!

Isn't the whole point of doing your own school work is to "enhance" your own brain and improve your own knowledge. 

I saw the different "tasks" with corresponding deadlines. They pay really good. But what disturbed me more was the different type of academic writing levels. There's highschool, college, masters and PHD. I understand lazy students in highschool and college but MASTERS AND PHD??? 

Why would you even go back to school if you want to avoid academic work!!!!

One may never fully understand human decisions. 

But one thing for sure.

I think I will have to turn down the Academic Writing opportunity even if I know I'll nail it. Just out of principle, I don't want to do homeworks of other people. 

In a bigger picture, this is probably the dilemma of a lot of people. Taking jobs because they need it but they don't agree with the industry or the business' mode of making money.

I guess I have to be the bigger person. And not let money decide for me but decide on my own. I have a choice.

I will just probably have to improve my skills in writing SEO Articles. I'm not a marketing major but I have marketing experiences. This is the path I'll choose. 

Freelance Jobs: More Money More Problems

I've been obsessed lately about finding more freelance jobs. I currently have one already and it involves managing the digital marketing and presence of a lawyer's services. 

But for some reason, I still want to do more. I still want to earn more. I still have a lot of free time.

Though you know how the saying goes, more money more problems?

The reason why I want extra money is because I feel guilty whenever I splurge. Although most of this "splurging" goes to food and transportation, two things you cannot completely avoid, I still feel guilty because I know I could have chosen a "cheaper" option. (Walking instead of taking Uber, Drinking water instead of buying shake).

But it's hard. So I just want to earn more money so I can allow myself to treat myself with such things. Though I also don't want to get used to a lifestyle change so I have to be careful of that too. 

Well, I spent a lot on travelling. That's one thing I know for sure that I do. The extra money I get from my freelance jobs is set aside for my travel budget. 

Maybe that's why I'm obsessed to get more freelance jobs.


Sunday, May 28, 2017

Bitcoin Hype: Gambling? Investment? Or Future?

So I've finally jumped the bandwagon in the Bitcoin "hype" that I've been seeing around since last year.

I've read articles about this "virtual" money aka CryptoCurrency and I've "preached" it to friends who had differing opinion. 

But what is it really? Some call it investment but some of my "real investor" friends call it playing with money aka gambling. But some say that it's a disruptive technology experiment that aims to replace digital currency. 

It is definitely disruptive alright and which is why we have differing opinions. We all know how disruptive technology can change the game we all play called life. Some take it with high skepticism some take it with high enthusiasm. I'm still playing in the middle. 

But I somewhat agree to what this paypal board member said: it's a big mistake to buy more bitcoins you can't afford, but it's also a big mistake not to buy one.

I truly believe in the "future" and I guess yeah, you do call this a high risk investment or yeah you may call it a gamble. I know it may be a hype now but I also know that at the rate things are going within probably the next year, this "Bitcoin" will increase value due to its popularity. More and more people will jump in the bandwagon then might as well join the ride. 

Although I rarely join bandwagons... In fact, my friends know I'm one of those who completely avoid purchasing something I know that is a hype. I don't like being in bandwagons as with everybody else.. But why is this an exemption?

SURE you may call it gambling.

But one thing's for sure is that this is a teaching opportunity to understand the Law of supply and demand in action.

I myself is still trying to learn it. It's easy to understand the principles but the "art of patience" is so hard to apply.

Result? I end up buying bitcoins during its high price rate and selling bitcoins during low price rate. Ugh!! It's a good thing I only placed $20. 

Initially I placed $10. But then, I totally forgot I added another $10 so all this time I was losing money "trading". Ugh. 

Moving forward I gave my nephew a $1 and told him to "grow" it and explained to him the law of supply and demand. 

This is unfortunate for me that I'm only learning the art of patience right now but I'm trying to look at this as a good opportunity to "train" my nephew about "investments" and "trading" that I wish I had learned too when I was young.

That feeling of losing money. Ouch. But it happens and we learn from it. It's a good thing I only placed a small amount (though $20 is already huge). I meant by small amount is that I'm only playing with $20 instead of hundreds of dollars or thousand like other risk takers like me are doing. 

So is this a gamble, maybe.. Sure. But I'm hoping my nephew learns something from it. I told him I'm going to give him $5 and he needs to grow it to $10. And when he does it successfully he needs to return me the $5. He was disappointed lol but I told him "Well that's how loan works." 

Maybe I'll lose $20 right now. But hopefully the experience that I'm teaching my nephew would help save him from losing more than $20 in the future. Unlike me, who is almost 30 years old and making obvious dumb financial decisions. 

This all too well feels like booking UBER Rides. You gotta know the peak hours and don't book if the surge is high! 


P.S. As long as I get my $20 back I'll be happy. Huhu. But I think I'll have to wait for a couple of months before that happens. In the mean time, I'll just enjoy the buy and sell "game" at the moment. 

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

I donated my blood today.

It's my first time to donate blood. It was really scary and yeah, the big ass needle hurt but I guess I'm saving somebody else's life. 

Doctors/Nurses have always told me that I have really small veins and it's always hard to draw blood which makes the situation even worst because I tend to panic. But I survived and I feel great!

On another note, it was also another opportunity to confirm that I'm healthy!