It's funny, because, I know I have fear of failure and yet I'm the one who always puts myself in situations that can make me feel susceptible to my fears. I've already applied for the exam. Paid for my review classes and already half way through it. I still don't know why I'm trying to go through this self-pressure and pain. I should be doing my thesis instead (ouch, another stressor).
Or maybe, I need an ice cold beer (or not as it might trigger the acid in my stomach again and I'll start with Day 1 of uselessness).
Why do we do the things that we do?
Edward Higgins developed this theory called "Self-discrepancy Theory" which pertains to the "gap" between our ideal self and actual self. The gap is said to be the cause of "emotional & psychological turmoil" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-discrepancy_theory).
I believe I am undergoing that turmoil right now because there is a huge gap between my ideal self and actual self. But because I'm sick, I've started to ask myself, is my ideal self even really ideal?
I am depressed right now because I feel so useless and helpless and unproductive the past few days. What worries me more is that I know it's just 3 days compared to the many months I've spent in my previous years slacking off playing yoville or antville. Or maybe I think I'm just really really worried because, I should be studying for the exam. Only six weeks to go.
Okay, I think I'm feeling a bit better know. Better use this energy to take practice exams so I know which parts of the topic I still don't know yet. #ANXIETY