Saturday, October 11, 2014

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People. Principle #1

Don't criticize, condemn or complain.


I've read this book before for about a couple of times already. But it's a must to read again and again until the point of memorization. 

I had an e-book but hard copy is still different. 

Principle #1 "Don't criticize, condemn or complain" supports the First Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz "Be impeccable with your word" (From the Four Agreements, another must read book).

I'm going to blog every time I read a chapter of Dale Carnegie's book so it can help me internalize each principle. And eventually practice it by heart. 

A few quotes from the chapter:

“The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.”

“Let's realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return; or, like the gentle Taft, will say: "I don't see how I could have done any differently from what I have.”

“Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”

“Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less dangerous.” 

Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof," said Confucius, "when your own doorstep is unclean.”

“A great man shows his greatness," said Carlyle, "by the way he treats little men.”

“"What is it you want?" I snapped. You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.”

“Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. "To know all is to forgive all.”

Excerpts From: Carnegie, Dale. “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” 

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